The artistry of a sunset, with its deep reds, oranges and yellows, used to be my sustenance. When I was depressed, I would go to the pond in my back yard and marvel at the beauty of the ripples on the water, the variety of wildflowers surrounding it, and the amazing diversity of the animals I saw. I would often see dragonflies, tadpoles, carp, and even, occasionally, a deer enjoying an afternoon drink.
When I was bored, I would drive up into the mountains. Looking down with amazement at the city below, I would realize what a small piece I am in this giant world. It always did wonders for my perspective. At other times, I would pull out a book and engross myself in the imaginary world of the author. I found myself cheering for his heroes, crying and laughing along with them, and rejoicing at the injustices set right.
One of my greatest joys was looking into the eyes of my husband and telling him what a wonderful man he is, and how much I love him. He has the deepest, most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Those eyes reflect his soul, and his love for me, and I could stare at them forever.
I don't do any of these things anymore, and I haven't for several years. And you know what? I don't miss them, though I have to admit I used to. Who wouldn't? After 35 years of being able to see, having your sight taken from you is quite a blow. But, I tell you, the good Lord has given me something better - MUCH better.
How did I lose my sight? To be honest, it is really not important. The crucial question is: why did I lose it? Now, that question I will answer. I don't know; at least not fully. I can tell you, however, that there is Someone who does know, and He has given me little glimpses over the past few years that have given me a peace, a wholeness, I never had when these eyes were working.
I used to be one of the most independent people on this earth. I didn't need anyone, and I could do anything. Now I am often dependent on others - which has helped me to learn to depend on the One who created me. There is nothing like needing someone to make you more aware of the needs of others and how to meet them. I have become more of the servant that Christ had always wanted me to be, and all it took was the removal of one of my senses.
And, I know that I will be able to see again when I get to heaven. I have confidence that's where I'm going, and it will be glorious! I don't think there will be people more appreciative of the wonderful sights of our heavenly homes than those who could not see their earthly ones.
I often think of that wonderful hymn Amazing Grace and realize that it is true, in a very odd way, for me.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me;
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see.
I can see so much more clearly with heavenly eyes than I ever could with earthly ones. When I became blind, my spiritual eyes opened up to all I could and will see.
Instead of the colors of the sunset, I will see the sparkling glaze of the Holy City: her light was like unto a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal. (Rev. 21:11) Rather than marveling at our pond and the foliage around it, I will sit by the River of Life and eat of its tree. (Revelation 22:1-2)
Instead of watching a city from above, I will live in the New Jerusalem with streets of gold and gates of pearl. (Revelation 21) Rather than reading books to be transported to new lands, I will be living the ultimate fantasy, one that no one can imagine or improve upon.
And, on those days when I miss looking into my husband's eyes, I remember that, one day, I will be able to look directly into the most amazing eyes of all - the eyes of my Savior, Jesus Christ.
Still, I sometimes wonder if God will heal me in a miraculous way - or even a not-so-miraculous one. Will I some day be an amazing testimony of his role as the Great Physician? Only He knows that, and I can trust Him to do what is best.
I may have lost my sight, but, thanks to my wonderful Lord, my vision is crystal clear.
Amazing Grace: John Newton, public domain
(c) Joanne Sher 2011
Joanne Sher is a Christian writer saved out of Judaism, traveling rough roads with God's strength. She loves to blog, encourage, write, and spend time with her family. Learn more about her at http://www.joannesher.com.
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