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How To Handle Your Child's Misconduct (Part One)
by Olawale Ogunsola
7/17/2020 / Parenting
It is a very common phenomenon among parents to complain about one form of misbehavior or another in their children. It causes pain to every serious parent, mother or father. A good parent will want an immediate ending to every bad behaviour that manifest in a child's life.
For an end to come to a wrong pattern of living, it is expedient to know the root cause of such a way of living. What is the source? Where did it emanate from will be a strong pointer to how to put an end to it.
FIRST CAUSE PEERS' INFLUENCE. The first source of a child's bad manners is Peers' influence. The friends a child keeps wields great influence on such a child. There is an African Proverb that says,
"If a finger is soiled by oil, other fingers will be affected by it."
You can experiment the above to see the truth in it. If four fingers are not free from a soiled finger, can a finger be free from being soiled by four fingers? The answer is a capital No!
It means that a child who walks with a wrong group will imbibe the character of other members of that group. After all, he will want to "fit in" into the group, possibly at all costs. There is no way a group's misbehaviour will not contradict a family lifestyle. This calls for attention before a bad behaviour ruins the life of such a child.
FIRST CURE : Anytime you notice a wrong habit of a child, patiently hunt for who are those associated with him or her in the school, in a worship place, in the neighbourhood or place of work. If you know those associated with him, then you can map out a strategy to disconnect him from that group. Many times, it will require wisdom of God to know the right strategy do it.
You can know his group by carefully listening to his conversation whenever he receives or makes a call. You can tactically request the use of his handset to read some of his sent and received messages. Communication language between him and his peers will reveal a lot to you.
Not only that, know the kind of programmes he listens to on Radio and television sets. This will also assist you in knowing the types of information he has acquired in the past, those he is acquiring and those he may acquire which will influence him negatively. By so doing, you will be able to discourage him or take other right and appropriate steps to put end to the source. You need to share your experience and knowledge with him in respect of the possible consequences of his misbehaviour. You can encourage him by providing alternatives to his current sources of wrong influence. Introduce other people, programs, stations, etc that will take his heart away from the current negative ones.
SECOND CAUSE : Internet influence. The Internet has turned the whole world into a small global village. Whenever you hold a handset or have access to computers, you have the whole world in your palms. You can reach any part of the world. So it is with your child. A child can easily access any other culture and imbibing it to "pollute" his own heart and to the detriment of his future unknowingly.
What obtains in one culture will not be the same in another. In most cases, a child will not consider the negative implications of another cultural practices on his life or future. He will just embrace it whole heartedly.
CURE TWO. Be closer to your child. You must be his first and best friend with whom he can boldly and confidently share his hopes and aspirations. By so doing, you can know the sites he visits and why he does so. Knowing his heart on this will allow you to educate him on the pros and cons of imbibing another culture that will be unprofitable to him. You can reason together. Let him state his own reasons, then put forth yours in love and sincerity.
Like in "one" above, introduce him to alternative culture or sites that will influence him for the better. This will likely fill the gap that may be created by leaving the former ones. He can find comfort in the new ones.
Note well that you do not need to co-herce or force him to visit a site or culture only. You can encourage him by visiting them together, most especially at the beginning of first visit. Later, you can ask him what is trending in the new sites or cultures you have visited together. This will assure you that he has not jettisoned your suggestions and you will know what new things he has learnt therefrom.
Once in a while question on the former bad or unfriendly sites will inform you whether or not he still visits them.
Beloved, I believe this piece has shed certain light on the causes and cures for your child's misbehaviour. Read part two with the same title.
Stay blessed and prepared for the coming of the Lord.
The Author is the set man of CTFM(WORLD OUTREACH)and Presiding Pastor of Christ Restland Gospel Church.He is a Poet and author of many books. Visit his blogsites www.4thlink.wordpress.com and www.peacelink.wordpress.com for more quality contents.
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