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7th Way Out Of Marital Incompatibility
by Olawale Ogunsola
8/24/2020 / Marriage
"If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire." Matthew 18:8 New King James Version (NKJV).
The above great counsel was offered by the Son of man who had all authority in heaven and on earth. He gave it to whoever He wishes. Is it not necessary if not mandatory to obey the words of such Personality?
These are words that must be employed in marriage. No person must be too rigid in all aspects of life. This is because there will always be reason to change your stand on issues. After all "a wise man changes his decisions." is a wise statement. There is the need to do all within your means to adjust yourself to fit in and to fix the bone of contention right.
There is the need sometimes to step up or down on issues. That is why communication is the orbit on which marriage rotates. You must discuss with your spouse who should step up or down on a particular matter and how to go about doing this.
For instance, an important issue that, if not handled with care, can marr a marriage, is love-making. It has wrecked the ship of many homes.
Let us consider a story of an influential family. Many years ago, a society wedding took place between a senior military man in Nigeria which was attended by who is who in the country. Expensive gifts were distributed to attendees to take home.
Do you know what? This great wedding ended up in a divorce after twenty-seven days. Should this be the case? What was the problem with them? Does it mean there is no way out to settle their differences, major or minor? Was it that no man can handle their incompatibility maturedly? Did they take any positive step to iron it out? Answers to this questions can be answered by them only. But if you can provide answers to these questions, they will help your marriage and that of people who are around you.
What was the area of incompatibility? Love-making!
The husband did not give this as their point of difference. He called his wife a "Gold digger" who was only interested in spending his money wastefully it was the wife that exposed the can of worms. She accused him of "unconventional sexual demands". Sad enough she was not ready to bulge. She went to court and the marriage was dissolved.
Now considering the husband's accusation, in their discussion, they can reason together to find reasons to avoid "wasteful expenses". There can be factors they can iron out together. The woman may step down from her high profile spendings if her marriage matters most to her wants to keep it forever. She must reason well her man.
In the case of her own allegation, "unconventional sexual demands", they can discuss it together and agree in love. They are two different personalities that come together to abide under the same roof for the rest of their life. What are the "conventional sexual habits"? This should be well defined by the wife to the husband. To the husband, he should be ready to step down from those sexual demands that are intolerable for the woman. Marriage should be a matter of "Give and take". No one should be "Giver" or "Taker" only.
Do you know that proper education of the wife can encourage her to step up to the level of this man's demands?
What I really want to bring out here is that every wife and husband should be able to step up or down on matters that can brew rifts which can cause separation or an outright divorce. My dear reader, do not hesitate to step up or down to retain your home.
Stay blessed and prepared for the imminent coming of the Lord.
The Author is the set man of CTFM(WORLD OUTREACH)and Presiding Pastor of Christ Restland Gospel Church.He is a Poet and author of many books. Visit his blogsites www.4thlink.wordpress.com and www.peacelink.wordpress.com for more quality contents.
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