We live in a fallen world and we will experience pain from other people. Some of the pain will be purposefully given, while other pain might be an accident. Have you been hurt by someone and have not gotten over it?
I recently received an email from someone who was having problems with bitterness. They were bitter over their ex-husband and how he treated her during their marriage and after. She tried time and again to forgive, but still found un-forgiveness in her heart over the matter.
It is hard to let go of hurtful things that have happened to us. Here are a few steps we can take to help bring healing:
1. Place the hurts in Jesus' wounds.
Just remember your bitterness is only hurting you and not the other person. God is a God who heals our memories when we let go of the hurt. Ask God to show you how to do this. He will answer. I encourage you to place people, and the hurts they've caused you, in the wounds that Jesus received on the cross. They became three dimensional to me when I placed my wounds there. When I was praying one day, the Lord showed me that His whippings and beatings, He endured for me, were big. So big, I could fit my entire body in them. I even pressed myself into the wounds of Jesus as I had un-forgiveness in me. After I placed my self there, I was expecting to see His blood all over my face and body. It was that real to me. Identify with the Cross and the pain Jesus received for us. Not only did Christ die for our sins, but the sins people have done to us. He knows pain. He knows your pain. Run into His arms and allow Him to bring peace in your life. Leave your wounds in the wounds of Your Savior.
2. Stop thinking about it.
I know in my life I've held onto hurts and festered at wounds for years. I would re-hash, and re-wind the tapes of my past over and over. As I did this, the wounds were always fresh and painful. The more I thought about them, the more intense my anger would become. When I dwelt on them for too long, I was exalting it higher then what Christ has done for me on the Cross. I was worshipping the thought instead of my creator King.
2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV)
"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;"
I don't want to exalt anything or anyone higher than my Lord. When I realized this, it was so freeing in my mind. So, the next time I started to think about the hurt, I would cast it down, and then replace it with truths from the Bible. Also, I found myself even saying out loud, "Let it go, Kris! You've placed them in Jesus' wounds and now they are His."
3. Release the person you have un-forgiveness towards.
Someone sent me an email that stated: "Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one who forgives." It totally benefits us to forgive others. I think we believe that if we don't forgive others, they will be in bondage. The truth is it really puts us in bondage when we don't forgive. The other person has no clue that we have un-forgiveness towards them. Do yourself a favor and give the gift of un-forgiveness to you. You will live in freedom if you do.
We need to move on in our thinking and remember that God does love us and His healing hand is always upon us. Pray for total and complete healing in your life. I have. In my prayer times I literally place my hand on my head and heart and ask God to heal all areas in me so that I can be healthy and whole in my body, mind, and emotions. I actually do this quite often as from time to time I see areas in my life that need healing. We all are on this journey of life and during this journey we will get hurt, but the hope of God's healing hand upon us keeps us going.
If you have hurts, I encourage you to walk through the points I've listed. Jesus is always there waiting and willing to be your healer. His wounds are big and we can place anything that has happened to us there.
Pastor Kris Belfils
Kris Belfils is an Author, Pastor, Singer/Songwriter, Speaker, and Worship Leader. She has a passion to see people transformed and set free. Her newest book, "The Garbage Man Always Comes On Fridays," is a powerful tool to help others overcome their past. www.krisbelfils.com
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Ok. But what about hard cases?
In times of extreme transgressions it seems like a violated person could be in need of mental conditioning techniques. That's because humans easily supress their feelings (or something like that).
Would a priest, minister or other person with office ever condone of that? Are there exceptions?
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