Empty Well Thirsty Heart
by 11/04/2006 / Womens Interest
Empty Well Thirsty Heart Newsletter was entitled after a book I was reading. This book helped me to realize that Iíve always had a void. A void that Iíve tried to filled desperately! I started this newsletter because I wanted women to know that I am in the same boat. I feel how you feel! Iíve looked in all the wrong places and found comfort in all the wrong things. This year, I am forcing myself to face the void created by lack of love shown, lack of affirmation, and lack of approval while growing up. Truthfully, we all can become emotionally starved if these things are not supplied in our lives.
What has become my passion and my desire? To minister and evangelize to broken women! Please do not hesitate to make copies! I pray that you do share this newsletter with women you know who are in a brokenness state. To God be the glory!
Empty Well, Thirsty Heart
I entitled this issue after a book I was reading. This book has helped me learned something at 34 years old. What have I learned? Iíve never loved any man! After evaluating all my relationships, not one has brought me complete fulfillment. Iíve always felt within myself they had never loved me as much as I THOUGHT I deserved. My inner voice was asking me, ďWhat are doing?Ē It asked me like it had a right to know! The answer I still canít deny ďlonging to be loved.Ē Yet, deep within my heart, an earthly man canít fill this void I have. My confession to you this very day is that I have a void. A void, Iíve been desperately trying to fill for years with no success. The most unbelievable part, I had no clue I had a void. My relationships were supplying me with comfort from loneliness and compromised my temple. Back then, I didnít know my body didnít belong to me. My body was temple and I didnít even know. In my state of singleness, Iíve never came to grips with my emotional starvation. Only after praying and coming across this book, I had an explanation. Iím not blaming any my relationships. This void was created when my parents died. I have very few memories of my parents. Truthfully, I donít remember much about my parents at all. Yet, what memories I do have- will always remain in my heart.
Over time, Iíve learned that the majority of the issues we go through or voids created within us have a beginning. The root-my root: the lack of affirmation from certain family members who raised me caused the void within my life. The hardest thing Iím facing right now, is forcing myself to be without someone to comfort me. When I say comfort, it doesnít mean in a sexual way always. Our flesh can find comfort in; long conversations, hugs, walks, and just the presence of someone of the opposite sex. Comfort how? As a woman, the need to feel needed and desired temporarily. Yeah, I know the outcome-empty! Yet, I starved temporarily comfort. As the book stated, I was drawing from empty wells.
The movie ďWaiting To ExhaleĒ displays four women in four different scenarios. Which woman are you? Has your husband left you for another after many years of marriage? Are you in love with someone in your past who is married, yet you feel it should have been you? You are slightly overweight and your X-husband is gay, but you still desire him? Have you moved because of the boyfriend and now youíve found out he is unfaithful? When I first saw the movie, all I could see was women who wanted or desired love. What the movie does not project is that all of these women had a void. Each one had her own void she was dealing with. Yet, towards the end of the movie, they all had to face their void in order to have peace.
As women, we donít exhale because weíve found the right man to spend our lives with, but we exhale because weíve compromised! We try to make him fit into the mold and we consciously know that heís not quite what we want, but nevertheless we listen to our flesh scream ďI need comfort!Ē
Now that I know and Iím aware of my void, Iím in constant prayer that my flesh dies daily more than ever. I am just like an addict that needed to openly admit I have a problem. Knowing now that God will take me through a step by step process showing me how to love him. Why? In order for me to finally recover, heal, and fill this void once and for all. It is written, Luke 10:27 ďAnd he answering said, THOU SHALT LOVE THE LORD THY GOD WITH ALL THEY HEART, AND WITH ALL THY SOUL, AND WITH ALL THY STRENGTH, AND WITH ALL THY MIND;ÖĒ God waits patiently for us to untie His hands so He can begin a great work in us.
What has truly helped me and I recommend to all women, keep a daily prayer journal/diary. In the beginning, my prayer was ďLord, show me how to love you!Ē He answered me with the verse above. How do I begin falling in love with God? Every answer thus far has led me to spend more time with Him. I am to talk to, communicate, and express my feelings with my Heavenly Father as I would an earthly man. Hallelujah! I shout for joy and I know that I have the victory. Why? Sister is ready for Him to finally fill this void! Iíve refused God to heal me long enough now. Yes, the nights are long as I flip from AM station to AM station trying to get a word in season. Itís hard, but nevertheless not my will, but your will Lord! God is stretching me! I know that God will birth out of me something that He will get the glory from!
Girlfriend, if youíre constantly seeking, longing to be loved, and canít stand being without your comfort crutches youíve obtained-youíre an empty well with a thirsty heart. You are emotionally starved!
To know if you are an empty well/emotionally starved:
ē When you need comfort, affection, affirmation, approval where do you go to get your fix?
ē Who do you go to when you need love?
ē Are you satisfied within your relationship or do you feel empty when they leave?
ē Do you feel the person doesnít love you as much as you need?
ē Do you constantly call people when you are alone?
What are your relationships based on?
ē What you think is love or to be loved?
Right now, I struggle with my flesh regarding my void. My flesh wants to be comforted. Yet, Iím fighting back this time! Iím learning to love God wholeheartedly while in my state of singleness. I know that my void must be filled in order to elevate. Why? So that I may know love and accept love as it is giving. Before I move forward this time and before I say ďI love you!Ē ever again, I must first know what it truly means. Also, know that love is not based on emotions I feel or words that feed my flesh. I must allow God to feed my spirit in order to fill my void created.
Copyrights 2004 by Tara L. Crockett All Rights Reserved
Excerpt from: Out of the Heart Flows the Issues of Life (due 2005)
Appearance on WWL Channel 4 w/ Sally Ann Roberts "The Morning Show".
Various appearances on "The Light of Jesus Show" w/ Betty Howard.
First book signing at Walgreens' 5300 Tchoupitoulas in May 2003.
Speaking engagements at local churches.
Awarded "Single Heart in Christ 2003" by Tulane MBC