Why It's Hard to Say "I'm Sorry"?
by Angie Lewis 10/17/2008 / Relationships
It is hard to say, "I'm sorry" because then we have to admit we did something wrong and it usually means we have offended someone through our own insolent words or actions. But saying I'm sorry is the right thing to do if we have wronged someone, especially if we want to be a good example for our children. Imagine your child growing up seeing mom or dad behaving inappropriately towards each other and never saying they are sorry? What kind of relationships will they have when they are older?
There once was a bitter filled old man who never seemed to be happy with life. He would often take his unhappiness out on his wife and say hurtful and rude things to her, but she never said a mean word back to her wretched old husband, instead she forgave him for his ornery words and went about her business. One day the mean husband asked his wife why she never said anything disrespectful back to him and you know what she said? She told her husband that if she were to be disrespectful back she would be just like him, unhappy and bitter inside, and she wasn't going to do that to herself, and so every time he said a mean thing to her, she asked God to help her forgive her husband and it worked. After the wife told her husband the story, he suddenly stopped being disrespectful and became the nicest little old man for the rest of his life.
The moral of the story is bitter filled people usually have the hardest time saying they are sorry because they hang onto their stubbornness so hard and they won't let go of it. But, saying we're sorry means swallowing our pride and admitting we erred, which takes a bit of humility. Understand that apologizing for improper words or actions is being humble and kind, and sometimes we may have to say were sorry even when we think we didn't do anything wrong! And that takes tremendous compassion.
Many things can prevent us from apologizing for our inappropriate behavior and rude comments, but the most damaging feature we humans have that prevents us from loving others properly is PRIDE. Pride keeps us from understanding how to love others properly. Loving others properly is admitting our mistakes, faults, sins, and weaknesses. Ironically, not until we admit our mistakes can we move on, grow from them and be happy people! We should always be willing to tell others we're sorry if we have offended them for it teaches us compassion and acceptance and it teaches others to be compassionate because of our example.
The golden rule stands out here. "Treat others the way you would like to be treated." There will always be someone, somewhere that we will have to apologize to. This is precisely why when Peter asked Jesus how many times we are to forgive, Jesus responded, "seventy seven times." (Matthew 18:21-21) That's a lot of apologizing.
You see, before we can be truly be sorry for our actions towards others we have to forgive them too. We have to put aside differences and turn the other cheek, accept them for who they are, forgive and apologize. When you say that you are sorry to someone you have hurt, say it from the heart and make it real. Anyone can say the words I'm sorry" but not anyone can actually feel compassion and be sorry, that takes God's love within us. Be remorseful for your actions, admit your wrong, learn from it, and move on.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-31)