The First Homosexual and the Bible
by Robin Calamaio 1/05/2009 / Christian Apologetics
And therein lies the problem. Well, at least that is the problem for the Christian that adamantly proclaims no homosexual is "born that way." If not, then where did the first one ... come from?
I understand why Christians want to believe this. If homosexuality is a damnable offense, how can God hold such a one accountable ... if He made him/her that way? Such a quandary is immediately rejected as a possibility and that leaves but one other option: "There is no inborn inclination toward homosexuality. It is a learned behavior, a matter of choice and an absolute invention of the one who thus participates." But, that still leaves one problem ... that first homosexual. From whom did he/she learn?
We Know the Name ...
... of the first man and woman - Adam and Eve. We know the name of the first male child and first murderer - Cain. And we know the name of the first murder victim - Abel. We also know the name of the first player of the lyre and pipe - Jabal (Gen 4:21). There was a first homosexual. He/she had a name. God has not shared that ... yet.
Of course, you may have already noticed, there is another problem: "He/she ...." There was a first homosexual in each gender. They probably appeared in a different time and place. I mean, if the first homosexual was a male, how could this account for homosexuality in females? Would this male - could this male - with no sexual desire for a female, create that first female homosexual? But, in order to simplify things, for the bulk of this Article, I want think in terms of "the first one." There are enough blurred lines - and I want to start drawing some clear ones.
In this attempt, we must back up and first discuss man's sin problem - its basics and mechanics. From that base, homosexuality will then be addressed.
The Nature of Man and the Sin Problem
Each person enters this world with some degree of preprogramming. Included in this is a sin nature. Adam, the first man, possessed no sin nature as he was created in God's "image" and "likeness" (Gen 1:26). But after he sinned, a series of catastrophic judgments were announced, and we then find this subtle statement concerning the birth of his son, Seth: "(Adam) became the father of a son in his own likeness, according to his image ..." (Gen 5:3). Seth entered this world in Adam's "likeness" and "image" - not God's. Unfortunately, this new inheritance did not end with Seth. We enter this world "in Adam" (1Cor 15:22). One result? "For the inclination of man's heart is evil from his youth" (Gen 8:21). Inclinations indicate the presence of specific desires and predispositions for some prohibited activity. We now, innately, have a sin problem. One can rightly say, we are "born that way."
In addition to these bents, each person also has areas of moral weakness - absent some specific sin inclination. Jesus, who did not have a sin nature, was "tempted in all ways just as we are, yet without sin" (Heb 4:15). The phrase, "just as we are" is "kath homoiotata" - meaning, "according to similarity." We are tempted ... even in areas where we possess no bent. I think of this as a "weak spot," or "soft spot," that is subject to some moral challenge. These challenges may have more to do with the struggle to obey God's revealed will in a given situation - as opposed to the outright seeking of some prohibited activity that "an inclination" would stimulate.
I delve into both of these issues in more detail in the Article, "Man's Nature: One's Invisible Metaphysical Imprint and the Bible." I also discuss Jesus' temptations in some detail as well as forwarding what constitutes actual moral guilt before God. For now, just know we will not account for how we were made and Hebrews 4:15 (cited above) makes it clear ... temptation is not sin. Jesus was tempted, "yet without sin."
Human Natures are Not Created Equal
No one inherits every possible sin inclination. Some cannot co-exist in the same person. For example, one cannot be a sluggard who "works around work," - targeting a recliner in front of a television set - and also be one who "loves to be first," ambitiously striving for "chief seats" in some synagogue equivalent (2Thes 3:11, 3Jn 9 and Mk 12:39). Paul said that "death reigned from Adam until Moses, even over those who had not sinned in the likeness of Adam's offense" (Ro 5:12-15). Cain, and others, sinned differently than Adam ... attracted by different "forbidden fruits." Not all sin natures are created equal. The same is true of moral weaknesses, or soft spots, in one's metaphysical composition. Not all human natures are created equal.
This invisible metaphysical imprint is revealed as one's life unfolds. I am of the persuasion it is as unique to each person as is one's DNA or fingerprints. Its author is God Himself. Just as God physically molds each one as He so desires (Ex 4:10,11), He also assembles this imprint, with the varied elements, as He so chooses. "The Lord ... forms the spirit of man within him" (Zch 12:1). Elihu "thought age should speak" but, after hearing all of Job's contentions and those of his three friends, he said, "... there is a spirit in man and the breath of the Almighty gives them understanding. The abundant in years may not be wise, nor may elders understand justice" (Job 32:7-9). Daniel "possessed an extraordinary spirit" (Dan 6:3). "Who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, 'Why did you make me like this,' will it? Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use, and another for common use?" (Ro 9:20,21). David stated, "For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb ..." (Ps 139:13). To limit these last two verses to physical attributes only - is to limit these last two verses.
This aspect to human nature (preprogrammed sin-bents and the additional existence of moral weaknesses) is either overlooked, misunderstood, or summarily rejected in secular studies. This should come as no surprise. Secular, humanistic, metaphysical assertions are always at odds with God's. This is its bent ... and moral weakness.
Homosexuality: What I Think is Going On
In one sense, all sexual activity is learned. Infants are not sexually active. So, the real question is about sexual inclination, and if one has control over that. The bulk of homosexuals assert they were "born that way." When Christians declare this cannot be - an immediate impasse is created and the conversation ends. While I give the homosexual no quarter on his/her doom before his/her Creator, I also know this "Christian position" is wrong. This does not explain how the first one came into being - actually, the first one of each gender. And how did they seduce the first heterosexuals to abandon a heterosexual sex drive ... for the same sex? While I guess it is possible some homosexual desire is learned, I find this very hard to believe. The homosexual contention of being "born that way" is much more reasonable. Here is why.
The homosexual act is but one small element of an entire process. Sexual activity begins ... with desire for it. For the homosexual, this very first twinge is directed at the same sex. Following this "twinge," the next phase is - "the search." One begins "testing the waters" to see if opportunity exists with a potential target. This often requires a great expenditure of energy. One seeks to put himself/herself in the right place at the right time with the right words and signals. Then, when a potential target seems receptive, some type of "courting" ensues. Again, this is often a very delicate stage requiring great skills in order to arrive at the desired end. But, even if successfully navigated, the sex act is not the end of the matter. There is the aftermath. It is at this point cool heads enter the scenario, with many different potential reactions. One may be regret - with a determination to never again participate in what was passionately chosen. But, another may be satisfaction and relief - an "afterglow." By the way, many heterosexuals are not willing to go through the steps just described. They take a short-cut. It is called rape. They either lack the patience or the skills to navigate a normal sexual process. But, homosexual activity, in most cultures, is quite discreet ... "in the closet." This means that an even greater skill set is required in order to keep this secret! For example, having flowers delivered to the office desk of the one being wooed ... is not really an option.
The fact that a homosexual continues to repeat this behavior indicates possession of desires a heterosexual will never understand. Sexual activity involves a mind set, in and out of passion, integrated with one's physical, sexual appetite. For such a basic activity - sex, with all its precursor and post mortem elements - to be directed toward the same gender, is a massive sea change that cannot be relegated to choice from a heterosexual base ... especially if one is serious about understanding the advent of the first homosexual. Homosexuals have been willing to incur the scorn and wrath of immediate family, religion, cultural taboos, and even their government. Many fight, and have fought, all the societal customs known to man in an effort to secure protective rights, and some degree of societal validation and acceptance. Such causes are undertaken as they see their homosexuality, "as a lifestyle." Actually, everyone's sexual activity forms the base of his/her lifestyle. From this base springs the immediate family around him/her and much of the accompanying close social structure. So, what is going on here? In Cain, we find a clue ... and what I believe to be - the answer.
When God "had no regard" for Cain's offering, he "became very angry .... Then the Lord said to Cain, 'Why are you angry? ... If you do well, surely you will be accepted. And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it'" (Gen 4:1-17). This is a very gracious offer by God. Cain could have asked God what he needed to correct - if he didn't know. He could have then busied himself with growing a better pomegranate, or better fig, or secure some livestock from Abel - whatever God was requiring. But, Cain did not do well and did not master that sin. He decided to murder his younger brother - whose offering God had accepted.
I have an older brother and a younger brother. Of the three of us, I was the one that received a full, four-year, college scholarship - the one with "potential." So, how did that work out? In career and finances, both left me in the dust. My older brother retired as an Army Major, having shouldered tremendous responsibilities, and then became a private practice veterinarian, owning two clinics. My younger brother has held several executive managerial positions in companies that are household names. Both have traveled widely and have beneficially impacted many lives. Whether in my pre-Christian or post-Christian days, I have never been angry at them, jealous of them ... or wanted to murder them. In fact, they have been a source of bragging for me. I have enjoyed telling of my older brother's exploits (which must be pulled out of him) and it has been amazing to see my younger brother blossom in business maturity. And he is a very funny guy. God has never needed to call upon me to master a desire to murder either of my brothers. Billions of other individuals, all through history, would say the same thing about their brothers. Cain possessed a sin nature that included inclinations toward a perverted type of envy ... along with a temper that could end in a murderous rage. He did not master anything - even after warned. By the time he murdered Abel, he was so defiled and sin-hardened that when God confronted him, asking where Abel was, he said, "I do not know. Am I my brother's keeper?" Not only was his monstrous act the pinnacle of a mountain of perversity, but even afterwards, he had no remorse. In fact, in his own mind, this deed was probably necessary - even justified. "A younger brother showing me up like that? He deserves what's coming. I'll make this right!" You know, I wonder how this affected Adam. While Cain did not sin in the likeness of his own offense (Ro 5:14), Adam knew he was responsible for such bents becoming reality. It makes one wonder if, after learning of such an atrocity, he wondered what other kinds of fruit this sin nature would spawn. When Adam partook of that forbidden fruit, he had no idea he would spit out such poisonous seeds and corrupt an infected humanity with all kinds of perversities, brutalities, ignorances, and general moral baseness.
The First Homosexual
The Bible is extremely clear that homosexuality is sin. Granted, it is but one of a whole host of prohibited human sexual activities - but it is one. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God" (1Cor 6:9-11). God only has to say something once to be eternally settled. But He addresses homosexuality specifically in other places. "The Law is not made for a righteous man, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinful, for the unholy and profane ... for murderers and fornicators and homosexuals ..." (1Ti 1:9,10). Under the Theocracy, "(t)he Lord spoke to Moses, saying ...'You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination'" (Lev 18:1,22). He then gets more specific. "If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them" (Lev 20:13). While the Old Testament does not address female homosexuality, the New Testament does. Those who become "futile in their speculations" about God, and His nature, He gives them "over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, that their bodies might be dishonored among them ... to degrading passions; for the women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire towards one another, men in men, committing indecent acts ..." (Ro 1:24,26 and 27).
The first homosexual had a desire for same sex activity. This could only be the function of an inherited sin nature possessing that bent. What else could explain the genesis of such a desire? There was no one around from which to learn this. It is possible others had such an inclination before the advent of the first homosexual ... but did not act upon it. "(S)in is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it" (Gen 4:7). Many may have. The inclination does not make one a homosexual - nor does the temptation. Only acting upon it does. The first homosexual failed to master this sin - just like Cain failed to master his - and I failed to master some of mine - and you ... yours.
So, why do so many present day churches countenance homosexuality? How is this possible? There is even an entire "Christian" denomination that affirms homosexuality - The Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, sometimes called, The Metropolitan Community Church. Well, Bible scholars have developed principles for scripture interpretation called hermeneutics. Conservative interpreters have developed five. Those who support homosexuality have added two more. The one of interest here is the "cultural hermeneutic" - which factors in cultural realities. For example, Moses wrote when the children of Israel were heading for The Promised Land - which was to be secured by military conquest. Warriors were essential. Therefore, in that culture, at that time, homosexuality was sin ... for them. After the conquest was basically over, attitudes began to soften. When Jonathan died, David cried, "Your love to me was more wonderful than the love of women" (2Sam 1:26). Those espousing this hermeneutic principle are convinced David and Jonathan were homosexual lovers. By the time of the New Testament, Paul heralded celibacy as superior to marriage, but still clung to Old Testament taboos about homosexuality ... at least in doctrine. But, an old Apostle Paul wrote young Timothy, "I constantly remember you in my prayers night and day, longing to see you, even as I recall your tears, so that I might be filled with joy" (2Tim 1:3,4). This, they contend, is sure evidence of a homosexual union. Some also boldly point out that Jesus surrounded Himself ... with men for 3+ years of ministry travels. So, how is this "cultural hermeneutic" applied to our culture? The argument goes something like this. "Overpopulation is a worldwide problem. It would be best to be celibate - like the New Testament affirms. But, if one cannot remain celibate, homosexuality is the next best option. In fact, homosexuality may be God's answer to the overpopulation problem." With this cultural hermeneutic, all Bible passages are affirmed ... with nothing explained away. Biblical prohibitions were correct for those cultures in those times - but not ours. The teaching goes further. "The Bible says, 'everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected, being received with thanksgiving' (1Tim 4:4). If you were born a homosexual, it is sin to reject the way God made you. Everything God makes 'is good' and to reject what He has done - is sin! Receive your homosexuality! Start thanking Him for the way He made you!"
The Bible is not all God has ever spoken - or ever will speak. He will always remain bigger - and more surprising - than any creature will ever be able to comprehend. However, He will never contradict anything in His word. So, anything that does, I expose ... and dispatch. This cultural hermeneutic is a creative attempt to validate homosexuality, but adherents contradict some passages outright and twist others "to their own destruction" (2Pet3:16).
"You're Not My Type"
Before becoming a Christian, homosexual behavior by males did not bother me in the least. But, that should not be interpreted as being supportive or understanding of it. To me, it just meant I had less competition - so, I was all for it. However, had I realized females also participated in this ... my position would have modified. Homosexuality was a foreign, non-understandable desire.
After becoming a Christian, I knew what the Bible declared on this issue, but it just wasn't a subject of much interest. I had my hands full knowing that all fornicators and adulterers were destined for "the second death" (Rev 21:8). But then, about four years into my Christian experience, a situation arose with a professing Christian brother named Paul.
As a single Christian, I worked in two residential ministries. On my day off, I rotated between three different brothers in staying the night at their place. Paul was one, and I had known him for those four years. In Florida, some homeowners would find "house-sitters" when they left for the season. Paul was so employed with access to a house, pool - and red Ferrari. One evening I showed up, and Paul was in a rage in the garage. He was red-faced, hair disheveled, and a hole was punched in the wall. As I looked around and saw no one else, I rather sheepishly inquired, "Paul, ... is everything ... okay?" Then we talked. He told me that before making his Christian profession, he had been an active homosexual. This shocked me. I always thought I was pretty good at spotting a homosexual, but I entirely missed this time. In fact, he was even dating a woman at the church he was attending. When I inquired about this, he said she had been a lesbian and one of church's "therapies" was to date the opposite sex and work at "putting on right affections." He then told me his earliest sexual memories and inclinations had always been directed toward males. He said, "Do you remember when you would go get those National Geographic magazines - and look for the naked women?" I felt myself turn red. "Well, I was looking ... for the men. Right now, I want to get in that red Ferrari and go out on the town!" He then said, "You know, even though we are both single, you have the expectation that one day you will get married and be able to have your sexual needs met. I have no such hope." At that moment, a realization began creeping over me. I said, "Hey listen Paul, if it is any problem for me to be coming over here, I can make other arrangements." He replied, "No, Robin - there's no problem. You're not my type."
After that encounter, I began giving more thought to this issue. This work is a demonstration. I lost track of Paul sometime after that. I moved from the area, got married and have had two daughters. When I think of Paul, and others in his situation, several points come to mind.
1) In my personal seeking of God, I am grateful to have been spared that war. Sexual lusts are very much a function of the flesh - and triggers and trip wires abound around us. All it takes is a fragrance, a picture, a presence - and the war is on. Marriage does not end this war, but it does help. Homosexual desire has no righteous fulfillment. Paul was right.
2) I know there are tools, powerful tools, available from God toward those who do battle in this arena. I do not know all the tools God makes available because I have not needed them. But, I know they are there. After stating, "Do not be deceived; neither fornicators ... nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals ... shall inherit the kingdom of God," He adds, "And such were (imperfect tense) some of you; but you were washed, but you were set apart, but you were made right with God in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God" (1Cor 6:9-11). The imperfect tense above indicates "continued action in past time" that is in the past. It is not a "present state resultant upon a past action." God would have used the perfect tense if that was the case (See, New Testament Greek for Beginners, J. Gresham Machen,1923, section 122 and 452). So, anyone delivered from any of those listed sin patterns - have those buried in the past. They are truly history. This is a key element to the entire Christian experience. While it is true that "everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin" it is also true that if "the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed" (Jn 8:34,36). "(T)he one who practices sin is of the devil; for the devil has sinned from the beginning. The Son of God appeared for this purpose, that He might destroy the works of the devil" (1Jn 3:8). Jesus came to destroy the sin infecting our being. Not harness it, untwist it, reform it or fix it. He came to corner it, attack it, - and kill it. "(S)uch were some of you ...." He leads us to victory and freedom - not frustration and defeat. "The sting of death is sin ... but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ" (1Cor 15:56,57).
3) Being humbled before God is not a bad thing. Being driven to my lowest, finds me abandoning all hope for help - except from God Almighty alone. That is a very good place to be. That has always been the most secure place I ever enter. It is a fight to get there, but once arrived at - a place where I either perish ... or else He helps ... that is where His Hand has moved. And I always know Who to credit. I am certain He can lead one to victory who is beset with homosexual desire. Those who access this power will be forwarded as trophies on Judgment Day - and witnesses against those who did not. It will be similar to how God will use the Ninevites on that Day - only on a different subject matter. "The men of Nineveh will stand up with this generation at the Judgment and condemn it, because they repented at the preaching of Jonah; and behold, something greater than Jonah is here" (Lk 11:32).
The True Hate Crime ...
... is to let one who is sinning believe those sins can be practiced - without dire consequence. "It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God" (Heb 10:31). It is an act of love to tell people the truth. "Consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality ('porneia') for it is on account of these things the wrath of God comes (present tense)" (Col 3:5,6). "Porneia," primarily means illicit sexual intercourse. The only approved sex is heterosexual sex between legitimately married people. As the Creator of sex, He alone defines its proper use. I explore this in detail in my Article, "Sex and the Bible." Failure, on my part, to faithfully declare His message ... is hate. That would be the true hate crime.
When Christian teachers, preachers, and various witnesses declare homosexuality is a learned activity of choice - absent an innate inclination toward it - homosexuals know this is not correct ... and reject the God of that group. I guess the Christians who espouse this, also believe that once indoctrinated into homosexual behavior, it is so gratifying that reversion back to what would be his/her natural state of heterosexuality... is rare. To me, this is ludicrous. My goal is for Christians to acknowledge this as an innate bent, unless the homosexual asserts otherwise. But, this bent is the product of a sin nature that must be mastered - not a creation of God that is good and to be accepted. And this is indeed the crux of the matter. When this inclination is acted upon, one group declares it an act of righteousness - while the other ... an act of sin.
For those Christians who still insist a homosexual bent is not possible, then they still must explain how the first homosexual came into being. This doggedly, persistent, perennial problem is not resolved by a shrug of the shoulders with a pious admission of a current lack of understanding - to then return to a blusterous high ground, claiming confidence God will support such contentions at The Judgment. Furthermore, it must be asked; "Whatever transpired in that first homosexual, can that spontaneously occur again in others?" Since homosexuality is still primarily "in the closet," and apparently exists in populations all over the globe, and has been persistently present for thousands of years ... to me, it is clear it can - and has - and does.
The Cards are Dealt ... And With Them I Must Play
God makes many decisions about each of us - without counsel. For starters, He chooses our parents, race, location on the globe, historical era we enter and how long we are here. Physically, when fielding Moses' complaints, He said, "Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes him dumb or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?" (Ex 4:11). And, as previously asserted, I believe God also determines the components of our sin nature and areas of moral weakness. "The Lord ... forms the spirit of man within him" (Zch 12:1). Our objections to, or rejection of, such activity alters nothing. "It is hard for you to kick against the pricks" (Ac 26:14) ... but, we do anyway. Some do this from start to finish. Some do this for a season ... and then become a Christian. But, even as a Christian, there are still occasional kicks. In these seasons, sanity usually prevails as the Christian does learn, "he who sins against Me injures himself" (Pr 8:36). If my contention is correct - that God is the Author of a preprogrammed metaphysical imprint that includes the infusion of sin nature bents - then as The Potter, those are the cards you have been dealt ... and with them you must play. So must I.
God would not exhort that we "lay aside ... the sin which so easily entangles us" if this was not possible (Heb 12:1). While "He Himself does not tempt any one" (Ja 1:13) that does not mean He abandons those who are tempted to that power. "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man: and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it" (1Cor 10:13). This is a stupendous promise from the living Creator to all who seek Him. He has tools - powerful tools - available for victory over sin and its power and deceptions. As this assistance is consistently accessed, one's senses become "trained to discern good and evil" (Heb 5:14). The word, "trained" is "gumnazo" from which we derive "gymnastics" and "gymnasium" - so, this is sometimes translated, "exercise." And this Koine Greek word is a perfect passive participle - telling us one's senses have been acted upon in past time - with results into the present. Obedience to God is a moment by moment, event by event pursuit that strengthens our senses and, like the trained gymnast, creates present tense habits and forces of righteousness. I often ask God to make my forehead "as hard as their foreheads - like emery harder than flint" - more hardened and stubborn in righteousness than the most hardened-in-sin sinner (Ezk 3:8,9). Victory over sin is the place of freedom, breadth, abundance, joy, power, and life. When one experiences this - even just a taste - this thirst for righteousness becomes more powerful than inundation by the sweetest passing pleasures of the most desirable of sins. This is an amazing reality that can only be affirmed by experience. I hope it is part of yours - or will be.
When one presents material against homosexuality, a charge of homophobia is immediately levied by pro-homosexual forces. Not only is this a canard so as to avoid dealing with forwarded points, but quite honestly, such a charge has never made sense to me. For example, when I expound on the evil and sin of adultery, I feel no fear, or phobia, toward adulterers. If that was the case, I would be afraid of my past self. I'm not. Nor do I have a phobia, or fear, of thieves, drunkards, liars, or blasphemers when exposing that activity as sin. If so, I guess I would be terrified of my pre-Christian self. So, I not only fail in connecting the dots that lead from declaring homosexuality as sin - to then being phobic of those in such a sin pattern ... I fail to even see the dots. And just as homosexual desire is foreign to me, so also is the thinking that leads one to view a charge of "homophobia" as so substantive - that summary judgment is declared and any argument against homosexuality is thus immediately dismissed.
This is a Hard Report ... But, a Hopeful One
It is my expectation and hope that many with an inclination toward homosexuality (or any other sin bent) will read what I have forwarded in this Article - and deem it worthy of consideration. It is also my hope that individuals will seek God Himself for the tools - and power - to gain victory in this matter. Our Creator is "a God of deliverances; and to God the Lord belong escapes from death" (Ps 68:20). On a personal note, while I am willing to engage further on this subject, I presently have no plans to pursue this matter further. I wrote an Article that addresses homosexuality from an evolutionary perspective called, "Evolution and Homosexuality" as well as this work. Time is short, and there are many other subjects I hope to Biblically address. Salvation is nearer to me now than when I first believed (Ro 13:11). But, one thing is certain ... no pro-homosexual argument will prevail before our Creator now - or at The Judgment. That does makes this a hard report ... not impossible - but definitely hard.