Should Good Girls Attract Men or Just Be Themselves?
by Angie Lewis 1/30/2009 / Dating
When I read articles about the "laws of attraction" and "how to attract the man of your dreams" I wonder how many young women are really falling for this gimmick. Think about this for a moment. If you have to behave differently, other than just being yourself to attract the opposite sex, then is the person you are trying to attract, really someone you would want to have a relationship with?
Why does a woman feel she needs to "attract" a man? Will he not be attracted to her if she were to be herself? Is it appropriate behavior to do things in order to grab the attention of a man? Does it not make the man feel the woman is easy? Or will she say no when he wants sex? If she says no, then the attracting thing was all a sham. But if she says yes then I guess she will just have to go through the whole rigmarole of the dating scene with him.
Don't get me wrong, I've done the dating scene already and I made many mistakes along the way. I didn't know anything about what I am now talking about because no one ever shed some light on the subject of dating to me. It was "normal" in the 70's and 80's to date just like it is today. But when we compare "normal" to godly principles, "normal" really is not that normal anymore. What do you think? I just want to give you a different perspective on the subject so you won't have to go through all the hurt and other emotional and sexual garbage that comes with dating.
You don't need to "attract" a man just be yourself! Everybody is special and everybody has his or her own special qualities about them that naturally attract people to them. But if we behave in ways that make us do something different from the norm just to attract guys then we are not being honest with ourselves. If we are not honest with ourselves then we don't know who we are. If we do not have a positive identity of who we are, how on earth can we attract good people into our life? The best policy is always to be yourself, whatever that self may be.
What kind of a relationship are you looking for? Do you want to be respected and valued for who you are, or do you want to be disrespected and devalued as a person? When we try too hard to attract a man into our lives we actually attract, flaky, superficial, conceited guys that are only out for one thing sex. Is that what you are looking for in a relationship? If so, then have at it. But if you are a good girl, then just be yourself and you will attract the right man to you.
When we take off the mask and begin living our life as a child of God, a beautiful worthwhile human being, we attract good people to us, effortlessly. The more we feel the need to wear clothing that does not betray the person we are, and when we say and do things that are not really who we are, we attract shallow people into our lives. This is why most dating relationships do not work! Most dating relationships are wishy-washy and emotionally draining because they are full of unmet needs and emotions.
To all of the young women out there who happen to be reading this article. Take this bit of wisdom from someone who has already walked the dating path. Do not be in a big hurry to have a man in your life. The more you feel pressured, the more likely you are to behave in ways that are not really who you really are, or to hang out with the wrong crowd.
There is no pressure to have a man by your side. Pray about this and ask God to give you the patience and faith to wait on Him. Get to know your self better. Where do you stand as a child of God? What is God's purpose for your life as a woman, and possibly wife and mother someday? What are you doing now that will help prepare you for being a wife and mother someday? Do you think that God wants you to behave in ways that are not the person He created you to be?
God has created a special man to be your husband someday. I say "someday" because He wants you to be ready for the "commitment of marriage". Marriage is a serious commitment to God it is not dating anymore, but a promise to love each other forever, even when tough times come into the marriage. We love even when we don't feel like loving. Are you ready to take that step?
The bottom line is God created us to love and to be loved. That means no one needs to resort to being something other than what God made him or her to be. We should strive to become all of the person we can become "through our Creator" and then we will learn the wisdom to loving and respecting others appropriately. There will be no need "to attract" or "to be something we are not".