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Parental Emotonal Abuse: Its Impact on Adulthood
by Barbara Stuart, PhD LCPC Excerpt. What is Emotional Abuse In its simplest form, emotional abuse occurs when one person systematically uses any form of indignity [verbal or physical] to humiliate, manipulate, dominate, and control another person to influence the behaviour of the individual. The aim is to control with the insistence of compliance from the recipient of the abuses. As the behaviour continues, the feeling of pain becomes intense and affects the victim mentally, socially, physically, and spiritually. The individual who suffers then begins to build an emotional structural mechanism of defense to cope with the constant abuses of the self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence. That coping mechanism maybe over-eating, over-indulgence with substances, and various other forms of comforting situations in order to deal with the emotional pain. There are four stages of emotional abuses which begin in childhood and progress to senior years. Stages of Emotional Abuses Childhood to Adolescence: these are most impressionable years from 0-19 years, when the child looks to parents for love and affection, but these are denied him. Each child responds to emotional and even physical abuses in different ways according to his personality. A child cannot make the right decisions that will help him control his emotions when he is hurting. Parental inconsiderate behaviours which are often negative will cause emotional hurts to the child. If this continues it becomes an aspect of the child's daily life. It is as if he becomes conditioned to expect certain behaviours from the neglectful parent. For the most part, emotional abuse begins when a child is physically, verbally, or sexually injured. I believe that while someone may overcome some abuses, it may be more difficult to bypass sexual abuse. However, when a parent tells a child that he/she is unsightly, and uses bitter words to describe and assassinate the child's character this leads to discouragement. Such behaviour sows seeds in the heart of the child, and can be the debilitating factor that will send that child into a negative trend towards a destructive end unless he or she seeks help. It is during the teenage years when some children begin to rebel against parental abusive treatment towards them. Some may run away, while others might ride it out until they are able to go on their own or go to college. In some cases, children grow up broken and in despair seeking some kind of comfort to ease the pain of their past. Unfortunately, some may turn to the wrong things or persons for consolation and end up totally broken and without hope. The teenage years are times of transformation both physically and mentally. This can be a very traumatic experience for the child. There are changes which take place when the child really needs a parent's comfort to help him over those stormy troublesome times. He is trying to find himself and to make decisions about college, career, and relationships. However, many teens have had to walk this unfamiliar road alone without parental assistance and/or encouragement. If the teen is still at home he may face verbal abuses or witness parental abuse. These are situations which will remain indelible on his mind for which he will seek answers not knowing what to do with the unhappy situations facing him. While he is hurting, mom and dad maybe concerned about divorce because they are fighting daily. There are teens who might feel it is easier to end all the troubles destructively, sending them down a path from which they may never return. The teenage years are critical since the child is making the transition from adolescence and entering adulthood with its many uncertainties and changes. If that child encounters abuses of any kind whether physical and or verbal it will hurt him severely. The emotional hurts from verbal abuse will be expressed in various forms of negative behaviours both at home and outside. The emotionally damaged teenager may suffer from low self-esteem, depression, anger stress and emotional paralysis. Including are feelings of fear and guilt. He might think he is no good especially if he heard this kind of language enough for it to take residence in the psyche deep into his soul and spirit. It is in adulthood when some of those situations become evident making it difficult for the individual to trust others, and this will affect his relationships. a destructive end unless he or she seeks help. It is during the teenage years when some children begin to rebel against parental abusive treatment towards them. Some may run away, while others might ride it out until they are able to go on their own or go to college. In some cases, children grow up broken and in despair seeking some kind of comfort to ease the pain of their past. Unfortunately, some may turn to the wrong things or persons for consolation and end up totally broken and without hope. The teenage years are times of transformation both physically and mentally. This can be a very traumatic experience for the child. There are changes which take place when the child really needs a parent's comfort to help him over those stormy troublesome times. He is trying to find himself and to make decisions about college, career, and relationships. However, many teens have had to walk this unfamiliar road alone without parental assistance and/or encouragement. If the teen is still at home he may face verbal abuses or witness parental abuse. These are situations which will remain indelible on his mind for which he will seek answers not knowing what to do with the unhappy situations facing him. While he is hurting, mom and dad maybe concerned about divorce because they are fighting daily. There are teens who might feel it is easier to end all the troubles destructively, sending them down a path from which they may never return. The teenage years are critical since the child is making the transition from adolescence and entering adulthood with its many uncertainties and changes. If that child encounters abuses of any kind whether physical and or verbal it will hurt him severely. The emotional hurts from verbal abuse will be expressed in various forms of negative behaviours both at home and outside. The emotionally damaged teenager may suffer from low self-esteem, depression, anger stress and emotional paralysis. Including are feelings of fear and guilt. He might think he is no good especially if he heard this kind of language enough for it to take residence in the psyche deep into his soul and spirit. It is in adulthood when some of those situations become evident making it difficult for the individual to trust others, and this will affect his relationships.... Dr Barbara is an Ordained Minister and Licensed Counselor. God has given her the courage and blessings to write and this she does with great enthusiam. She is available for speaking at conferences, retreats and anywhere God desires. www.frministry.org Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com |