If they obey and serve Him, they shall spend their days in prosperity and their years in pleasantness and joy.--Job 36:11, AMPC

The sheep that are My own hear and are listening to My voice; and I know them, and they follow Me. -- John 10:27, AMPC

For some reason, the pastor of my little country church didn’t ask me what I was going to sing when I told him I felt led to do a special. I was glad, especially since he didn’t particularly seem to like me; I had started a newsletter in his church. 

I could never understand why that would be a bad thing. I had given him the main column, and checked with him on what I put in there. Anyway, the LORD knew my heart, which was to lift up Christ and draw people closer to Him.

What mattered though, was that the door was open and God kept telling me to walk through it. He had started working on me long ago, God had. Smart Father that He is, He knew of my predisposition for stubbornness and being hard of hearing (both inherited traits, of course). He used the music of Carman to speak to me.

Until I got serious about following God-even though I’d been saved when I was nine--I was a rock ‘n’ roller. Then, in my early 20s, I heard the music of Carman; I forget where. Doesn’t matter, since God is never taken by surprise and always carefully plots these things. But little did I know just how Carman’s “cool music that makes me think about God” would thrill and make me hungry for more.

I’d get tired of rock n roll (which almost always made me angry, or angrier if I was already upset-but that’s another story) and start listening to Carman’s “Jesus music.”

After a few days, I listened to it more than the other; it was so positive! I’d put on that uplifting music and work out, and I’d feel wonderful, in every dimension!

I’d be really getting into one of Carman’s songs, like “God’s Got An Army” or “Sunday’s On Its Way” and that’s when He’d start.

“Sing,” the Lord would whisper. “Sing for Me! Use Your voice to bring Me glory!” and I’d think, Who ME? SING? My brain is really playing tricks! Must be something spiritually weird about mixing rock and praise……Must be a sugar low or something…..I don’t think as well when all the sugar’s gone; I need a fix!

But the Voice kept talking for a period of weeks, getting louder. Finally, one evening while singing along, I felt a great urging, a heavy burden--it must’ve been, judging from the way I’ve heard other saints describe it--to SING and praise the Lord.

“Lord, I love You,” I told Him, “but You KNOW You didn’t give me the gift of singing. How about I just play the piano? You know I’m good at that.”

Then I’d sit at the piano and play those beloved hymns (with a little more upbeat tempo; I liked to spice it up), working all the way through the book. And I’d sing. I’d sing my redeemed lungs out for Him. I knew He loved it! And I’d feel His sweet Spirit move around me….and I’d cry, and be so at peace.

I didn’t want it to end. Neither did He. So He’d start in again: “I love you. Sing for Me.”

“But Lord--“

“My strength is made perfect in your weakness.”

“But Lord--“

“You can do it. I’ll be with you.”

“Make a joyful noise, You mean!" I'd tell Him.  "I know YOU appreciate this voice; You gave it to me! But don’t You want the others to think about YOU--and not be distracted by how bad my voice sounds, Lord?! You want them to FOCUS on YOU, I know You do!”

The Lord said nothing else, and I felt a sudden sadness, as if He had left the room. I was disappointed in myself; I despised my cowardice, but perfectionism (another inherited trait, of course) had a strong hold on me.

If I couldn’t sing like Liza Minelli, I didn’t want to do it at all.

I tried to fake peace. “Whew,” I said aloud. “I’m SO glad He has changed His mind!”

The next morning, when I woke, I felt the burden again. And He spoke: “Sing, little one. Sing to Me. SingSingSingSingSING!”

The pressure was unbearable. I could not continue to resist the living God. “OKAY!” I finally shouted, half desperate. “I’ll…lipsync! I’ll sing along, Okay?! Please? People need to hear what it’s SUPPOSED to sound like! I promise I’ll be at least as loud as Carman!”

With that, I felt a little peace. I relaxed somewhat, then said, “I’ll need time to practice. How about a month or two from now?”

“NEXT WEEK,” came the firm reply.

I said nothing, secretly smiling inside, and figuring that surely--as he always did--the music director, would have already planned the special music and given the information for the programs to the printer.

The next day, I called the pastor and asked if I could do the special music “sometime in the future.”

“That’s fine, Tonja, he said. “Steve just told me he’s running behind and hasn’t had peace about what to do for special music next week! You know the Hansons from Missouri are singing tomorrow, but we always schedule two weeks ahead. Funny you should call.”

“Yeah, funNY,” I said.

“What?”

I took a deep breath. “Nothing. Thank you, Sir, and please ask Steve to put my name on the program for next week!”

Then, before he could ask more questions, I hung up.

The day came. I prayed, I blushed, I couldn’t even introduce the song. I barely managed to nod to the sound guy to start the music.

But once “Sunday’s On It’s Way” (my favorite by Carman) started, I was lifted up on high. I sang my sanctified little lungs out. I even added motions. I lifted my hands to Him, not caring if I shocked the congregation, who obviously thought I was a crazy undercover Charismatic by now.

When it was over, I sighed, relieved and satisfied.

The audience stared at me. No one spoke for several seconds. Finally, the pastor rose, cleared his throat, shuffled his papers, and said, “Well. that was interesting…... Thank you, Tonya. Now, for special announcements….”

I sat down and listened to the sermon, feeling silly and a bit ashamed. The whole church probably thought I had flipped.

Yet, I had the sublime and mysterious peace that comes from being obedient to God.

A very close family member at that time, who should have been supportive, was instead hissing at me and accusing me of things. I tried to ignore it and focus on the sermon.

It seemed to take forever. I was glad I sat on the back row, and ran for the door when the service was over. But a teenage girl, the daughter of a friend, beat me there.

There were tears in her eyes as she said, “Thank you so much for doing that!”

When she spoke, I felt a warm rush in my heart, and knew that, if for no one else, the LORD had worked on me all those months to do this for her. He is so very personal, and cares about the deepest needs and desires of every person, especially His beloved sons and daughters!

I also knew, glory to God, that this adventurous life in Christ was only beginning.

Through books, courses, presentations, service, prayer, worship, and more, Tonja and her husband live to exalt God. Her series for girls, P.O.W.E.R. GIRL ADVENTURES, is now out (books I-V), along with LEGACY; YOUR HOLY HEALTH: VISIONS OF THE KING, and more. See the "River Rain Creative" YT channel.