The Helper – Part 2 – Her Purpose

By Jerry D. Ousley

            I haven’t always been popular with the ladies, but I have always had a deep respect for you.  In high school and college, I was a bit of a nerd, so for that fact, I didn’t have many girlfriends.  Then as I got older, in my late teens and early twenties, as a Christian and called to minister, I couldn’t settle for just anyone – it had to be someone who felt the call to minister with her husband, and the ones that fit for me were all taken!  Bummer!

            I did finally meet my first wife, Debbie, who, after thirty-nine years of marriage, left this life to cancer.  Then, after five years, I met (or should say, re-met – because we were associated with each other as kids – a whole story in itself) my wife, Rose.  I learned a lot about women with Debbie.  Because I hadn’t had many girlfriends before, I didn’t know much at all and spent a whole lot of time with my foot stuck in my mouth.  I learned many lessons with her.  That made me a little more tolerable for Rose (or at least, I hope it did).

            This all being said, I want to share what the Bible has to say about the ladies, their purpose in life, and how to rightly interpret what is said about the subject.  You see, over the centuries most men have taken the surface meaning of what is written in the Holy Pages without regard to what the Bible tells us to actually do.  So, I’m probably not going to be very popular with either side of this, but it needs to be addressed so, here it goes.

            Ladies, I know many of you aren’t going to like this, but the Bible plainly says in Ephesians 5:22-24, that you are to be submissive, and subjective to your husbands.  Yep.  Sorry, but here’s what it says: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband in the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.  Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”  There it is ladies – not my words but those of the Apostle Paul.  There’s no way around it.  I took the time to look up the original Greek word that is used for “submit” and I will quote Strong’s Concordance as to its meaning: “to subordinate; reflexively, to obey: - be under obedience as obedient), put under, subdue unto (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto.”    That is word for word, the meaning.

            Now that we have that over, let’s take a closer look at this.  You see, most men for the last few centuries, have taken that to mean that the wife is like a piece of property.  She was to do whatever he said, whenever he said it and she was to obey.  She was considered to be a little higher than a slave or servant.  Don’t hardly seem fair, does it?  And in modern days, we say these things in some circles, in peril of our lives!  Ladies, don’t come after me with pitchforks, knives and swords, because there’s more to it than this.

            You see, the entire key to this is found in the phrase “… just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her …” (see Ephesians 5:25).  Now that gives a bit of a twist to the situation, doesn’t it?  As we established in the first installment of this mini-series, the woman was made to be a helper (old KJV – Helpmeet) of the man.  She is not a slave, not a servant, not one to do every bidding and beckoning, but one made to be equal with, and a helper of her husband. 

            It is interesting to note that there is really only one place in the Bible where the woman is told to love her husband.  Titus 2:4 says, “… that they [older women] admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children.”  The word used in regard to the husband means to be fond of, and affectionate. It is a general term but doesn’t carry the same meaning as for the husbands which refers to “beloved” going deeper than a surface love.  

            Her purpose is help her husband, be there for him, to love her children and be that one that they feel safe with, look up to and cherish.  This may not be popular in today’s world, but when the husband loves as he is to love, when he makes decisions, first for God, then for his family and only after these considerations, for himself, in 99% of the cases the wife will love him because he loves her first.  Isn’t that why we love Christ?  Because He first loved us (see 1 John 4:19)?  Men, when we step up and do our part, and do it right, and it is the harder part, but then we will see our families staying together.  We will see more peace and harmony in the home, we will experience what God intended a marriage relationship to actually be.

            The wife’s purpose is to be her husband’s equal helper.  Men, let’s do our job correctly.  Let’s love our wives like Jesus Christ loved the church, giving His very life for her. You will see a difference; a huge difference.  There is more, and we will examine that in the next article.

Jerry D. Ousley is the author of ?Soul Challenge?, ?Soul Journey?, ?Ordeal?, ?The Spirit Bread Daily Devotional and his first novel ?The Shoe Tree.?  Visit our website at spiritbread.com to download these and more completely free of charge.