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Newspaper Editor Solicits Letters from Readers

by Greg Miller
7/28/2015 / Humor

By Greg Miller 2015

Newspaper Editor addressed her publication's readers with a very specific purpose in mind.

"I want each of you to think about your life's goal," she wrote. "How are you doing in that process, and how much further do you still need to go in order to achieve that goal?"

More than 100 readers responded to Newspaper Editor's appeal. "I have many goals," wrote High School Senior. "I plan to begin my college studies next year. I'll be in college for quite a few years, because I plan to become a physician, a lawyer and a supermarket owner."

College Freshman's goal was simple: "To make straight A's next semester."

Hospital Emergency Room Nurse was determined to change jobs. "I see many people die," she wrote. "I'm changing my name to Hospital Receptionist."

"I plan to develop a pill to cure all the world's diseases," stated Medical Doctor. "After I do that, I'm going to invent a pill to counter all the side effects caused by the first pill."

International Politician wrote, "My primary purpose is to bring peace, jobs and hope to the world."

Perfect Child and Imperfect Child, who were twins, collaborated on their responses. "We are going to grow up to be Perfect Adult and Imperfect Adult," they wrote. "We'll be the best adults we can be."

Corporation Owner was determined to raise all her employees' wages. "I must provide a good salary to them as part of my ministry to the Lord," she reasoned.

Couch Potato realized he needed to make positive changes in his life. "I'm promising myself I am going to lose 20 pounds by the end of the year," he wrote. "I plan to stop watching five of my top 20 television shows. I'm also going to stop eating two desserts at every meal. I'm cutting back to one dessert per meal."

College Football Quarterback wrote, "I'm going to throw 10 touchdowns in the final game of the season. Then I'll become the greatest pro football player in history."

"I plan to minister the truth of God's Word more than ever before," wrote Church Pastor.

The pastor also requested that his lunch hour be extended. "I'm asking that my lunch break be increased to two hours each day. My wife is the best cook in the world, so I would appreciate more time to enjoy her cooking."

After reading her husband's letter, Church Pastor's Wife wrote, "My plan is to take cooking lessons so I can learn to cook better meals for my husband. Church Pastor thinks I'm the world's best cook, but I have to make a confession. I haven't cooked his lunches for the past five years. I've had them delivered by a popular catering service!"

To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements, including Christian Comedy Fundraising Outreaches, Christian Creativity Seminars and/or puppet ministry, please email [email protected] or [email protected].

By Greg Miller 2018

Greg is retired from the Elizabethton STAR Newspaper, after working there for almost 23 years. He now freelances for the paper. Contact email address is [email protected], also facebook.com/kidcool4jesus. Available for speaking engagements/other ministries. Jesus is Lord

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