Five Wise Ways To Save Your Marriage
by Angie Lewis 7/27/2009 / Marriage
There are many things that couples can do to save their marriage. Although circumstances for each marriage are different, what I'm going to discuss in this article applies to every marriage.
1. Be Willing To Work on Your Marriage
Couples need to be willing to pick up the pieces and work with their spouse. Humble yourselves to each other. So many times couples blame one another for the disarray of the marriage because they are hurting inside. No one wants to feel hurt, pain and suffering. But what happens when we don't even try to forgive? The broken pieces of the marriage remain on the floor!
If no one is willing to pick up the pieces the marriage will remain broken. Negative emotions, past baggage, guilt and vulnerability will be carried with you into the next marriage or relationship. Don't think that remarriage is going to make you happy or solve your problems. That's not reality. The reality is you can pick up the pieces and resolve your martial problems and be a better marriage partner because of it.
2. Change Attitude From "Don't Care" to Committed
So how do you change an attitude from "don't care" to committed? You just do it. Understand that you probably walked into the marriage with non-commitment, even though your feelings told you otherwise. This day and age, many of us have not been taught the value of marriage, and many of us don't know what the bible says about marriage. This "don't care" attitude about the sanctity of marriage is what is killing marriages and families. What does God say about marriage? God says marriage is for a lifetime.
3. Forgive and Encourage Daily
Realize it's not just the big things that need forgiveness, but the everyday small things too. Forgiveness works very closely with acceptance. In marriage couples need to accept and tolerate the person they married. Forgive your husband for leaving the toilet seat up and watching too much television. Forgive your wife for not being a good cook or house cleaner. Do these small things really mean an end to the marriage?
We all have areas that need improved on. The best way to improve on ourselves is to encourage each other. Does that seem backwards to you? It is not backwards when you look at the big picture. When you encourage the person you married, you will be lifting them up in spirit, and in turn, they will see the positive aspects in you and do the same. Couples absolutely need to encourage one another every day. Instead of finding fault and bringing each other down, find the good in one another and bring each other up.
4. Appreciate Each Other More
This area in marriage is greatly lacking. Do you want to know why? Some of us take our marriage and everything in it for granted. Some of us never stop to think about all that our spouse does for us. Do we expect too much from the person we married. We somehow think that if only they would do this, or change to be like that, then we would be happy. But this kind of thinking is not reality, is it?
Stop and notice your marriage. When was the last time you told your spouse how much you appreciate them for all they do? Don't let the doldrums of marriage make you emotionally lazy. Show your appreciation in acts of kindness and love every single day of your marriage.
5. Realize Who The Creator of Marriage Is
Jesus Christ has already laid out the architectural design for a Christian marriage. He has given us the wisdom and the knowledge to live marriage God's way! If we manage our marriage under our own understanding it will have difficulties and possibly fail. We absolutely have to put God first so we can understand how to love the person we married in the ways of Christ. God is the Master Architect of marriage and for a happy marriage we need to base our actions on His design.