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What a Mother Wants

by Phee Paradise  
7/29/2009 / Devotionals

Matthew 20:20-28; Mark 10:35-45

I've always hated the bumper sticker that says "Proud parent of an honor student." My kids weren't honor students. I'm not saying I'm not proud of my kids. They are both talented, warm, and loving followers of Jesus. They are smart enough to be honor students, but getting good grades wasn't the most important thing in our house. But there's this deep, ugly part of me that doesn't like other mothers who boast about their kids as if they were better than mine. I don't boast, and that may be because I don't think I can compete with mothers of kids who are honor students, have the starring role in the school play and are star athletes in every sport. It's pitiful how I let the world shape my desires for success for my children.

So I don't like Salome at all. Her two sons, James and John, were the honor students in Jesus' apostle school. They, along with Peter, were the inner circle that Jesus took with Him on really intimate outings. They were with Him when He raised Jairus' daughter and when He prayed on the Mount of Transfiguration. As if that weren't enough, Salome went with them to Jesus to ask for one more reward. I can just hear the mothers of the other disciples.

"The nerve of that woman," says Bartholomew's mother. "Asking for them to be at His right and left hand."

"Isn't it enough that they're already His pets?" asks Thaddeus' mother.

"Yeah. He's always giving them special privileges. Them and that Simon Peter." The mother of the "other" Simon is particularly bitter. Why should her son be overlooked just because there happen to be two Simons?

Here's the story. James and John went to Jesus with their mother and asked Him to promise to let them sit on His right and left hand when He became king. In other words she wanted them to be the second and third most important people in the Kingdom, with all the recognition and authority that went with it. Jesus knew they didn't understand what they were asking for, so He asked them if they were willing to pay the price by suffering what He would suffer. "Of course," they said, and then He dropped the bomb. Yes, they would suffer, but no, He couldn't promise the positions they asked for. God had already decided who was going to get those positions. When the other disciples heard about the request, they were indignant. Then Jesus had to explain to all of them the principle of His Kingdom: that the greatest must be a servant to all.

There are several things happening here. Salome and her sons obviously didn't understand the nature of Jesus' Kingdom. Neither did the other disciples. It may be that the others would have asked for the same privilege, but James and John thought of it first. Or their mother did. They also had no clue what kind of suffering they were in for. And they certainly didn't understand about being servants in the Kingdom.

In light of this, we could, and should, examine our own desires for recognition and authority, but just now I am concerned with the viewpoint of a mother. The question I ask myself is, "As a follower of Jesus, what do I want for my children?"

Salome asked Jesus to give her sons permanent positions of authority and greatness beside Jesus. She wanted them to be at the top, to be recognized as the best. I think that's a natural desire for all mothers and we secretly, or maybe not so secretly, believe our children deserve that position. But Jesus offered them something completely different.

First He asked them if they could drink the cup He would drink and be baptized with the baptism He would experience. These are images Jesus used when anticipating His death on the cross. The night He was arrested He asked His Father to take the cup from Him. Imagine Jesus drinking a cup of suffering, His throat burning as it goes down, followed by gut wrenching cramps and cold sweat. When He was angry at the Jews, He said His upcoming baptism was the only thing holding Him back. Jesus had already been baptized with water, so He meant a different kind of baptism. Picture Him sinking down into an agony of pain from the thorns on His head, the welts on His back and the nails in His hands and feet. He knew He was going to suffer horribly and told them they would too. Is that what Salome wanted for her sons?

Secondly, Jesus told all the disciples that if they wanted to be great, they would have to be servants. He pointed to the Gentile rulers whom they saw ordering people around and getting whatever they wanted. That's what we mothers want for our children, that they be respected as leaders; to be doctors, lawyers, bosses. But in God's Kingdom, the great ones aren't bosses. They are running around serving everyone else. They are washing people's feet. In fact, they are pretty humble and no one is boasting about them.

James and John suffered physically for Jesus' sake. Herod had James killed by a sword. John was exiled as an old man. It may be that Jesus will call my children to suffer physically for His sake. But there is another kind of suffering that He demands from His followers. In Philippians 2, Paul tells us our attitude should be the same as that of Jesus, who humbled himself to suffer on the cross. Peter adds that someone who suffers like Jesus is done with sin, living his life for God (I Peter 4:2). That is what Paul is referring to in Galatians 2:20 when he tells us he is crucified with Christ. He's living a new life in Jesus; one of obedience and self-sacrifice, serving others because he is a citizen of the Kingdom. That's how God's people live.

So, once again, what do I want for my children? As a Christian mother, I want them to love God and live Godly lives. If I truly mean that, I will have to accept the two things Jesus required of Salome's sons. They will have to suffer for Jesus' sake. They will be servants in His Kingdom. This changes everything. I'm no longer competing with the mothers of the honor students. I'm no longer looking for positions of honor for my children. I'm proud of my kids when they volunteer at church and go out of their way to be kind to someone. I'm delighted to see them give up their desires and do something humbling for others. I want to see Christ living in them.

The other day I saw a different bumper sticker. "Proud parent of a pretty good kid." I like that, but I would change it to say, "Proud parent of a citizen of God's Kingdom."

Thanks to Tim Brittain for insight into this scripture.

Phee Paradise is a freelance writer with diverse writing experience. Her work includes book reviews, newspaper articles and short stories, and she writes devotionals for her blog, Delighted Meditations. (http://delightedmeditations.blogspot.com). She also teaches public speaking at a local college.

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