In less than 5 months I'll be getting married. Last year this time I was looking in so many different directions, wanting God to work in my non-existent love life. In my opinion, there were no viable candidates for the happily ever after that I desired and so the love that I am able to express for this man who I completely wrote off is unbelievable. Now I get to start a whole new chapter of my life. I was close to mastering the single life and now here I am about to embark on a new journey. The questions that most of us ask before we get to this point are: "Why do I have to wait?" "Why do I have to wait so long?" and most importantly, "What am I waiting for?"
I realized that the majority of my resistance in going back into a relationship with my soon-to-be husband was that it didn't make sense to me. Sure, my pride was a part of it, but it also just didn't make sense. Many years ago, I knew that this was the man that I would marry. In my heart, I knew that he was the one for me. Circumstances dashed those hopes and dreams even though we tried again and again and again, it wasn't meant to be. I finally acknowledged God and let go of that dream. Please note that I heard Him for quite some time, but it took me a while to obey. I eventually understood why we couldn't or shouldn't be together. In the time that we were apart, I grew as an individual in so many aspects of my life. So after all these years of clarity, independence, and achievement on my own, asking me to go backwards couldn't be what God wanted for me. Over the years I've had a chance to observe the marriages of those around me. My idea of a "good marriage" ten years ago pales in comparison to the standards that I have now set.
Why did I have to wait? Well, I needed to know myself, mature, and to become a lot wiser. God showed me that I was capable of doing whatever it was that I set out to do if I only trusted him. He showed me that I needed to grow more as a Christian, gather wisdom, not just in academics, but by learning from my life experiences. Apparently while he was working on me and through me, He was molding or reshaping this very man that I claimed as my husband so many years ago so that he'd be just right for me. Time has changed us both immensely and now we're ready to be together. We're not perfect and that's okay, but we're at the place where we can work with the imperfections because we have each others best interest in mind. Besides, if we were perfect, then we wouldn't need God and that is not a part of His design.
One thing that I've learned is that marriage is not easy. People say, "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it." There can be so many trials that wreak havoc in a marriage. I've read books, I've been given advice, and I've seen and heard horror stories about the way that they can end. But God has never failed me and I know that if He set us on this course He'll see us through it. He has demonstrated His faithfulness to do what He says He will do in our lives time and time again, and this upcoming marriage is only one of the many things that make it evident that He is able and willing to grant our heart's desires if we continue to serve and trust Him.
All rights reserved
Shakera Reid was born in Kingston, Jamaica and raised in Miramar, Florida. Her passion in life is counseling and educating youth. Hobbies include traveling, writing and watching movies. Her hope is to encourage others through her writing and to help them in their Christian walk.