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PASTOR WANTED FOR SMALL CHURCH IN OHIO

by Preacher Johnson  
2/06/2007 / Humor


"Good morning Miss Jacobs, how are you today?"

"I'm doing very well, how about you Sir?"

"To be honest I'm tired. The rest of the deacon board and myself were in session until nearly midnight last night drawing up this." Deacon Myles hands Secretary Jacobs a single sheet of paper. "We would like you to place this ad on our denomination's web site and monthly magazine. If any editing is needed, you know, grammar, spelling, things like that, please feel free to do so."

"Yes Sir. I'll have it done today."

"I'll be looking forward to the new Pastor, whomever he may be."

"Amen to that!"

As Mr. Myles leaves the church, Shelly Jacobs sits down and reads the advertisement.

PASTOR WANTED FOR SMALL CHURCH IN OHIO.

Due to the retirement of our former Pastor, the fellowship here at Grace Church is seeking a new Pastor. Because of the church's strong youth outreach the type of man we are looking for must be less than 35 years of age. He must have wisdom and knowledge, therefore, we are looking for someone with at least 20 years experience. There are many unchurched, unwed mothers in the community so our candidate must have the counseling ability to help with the social problems of these women. He must have the integrity to never be seen alone with a woman that is not his wife. Several immigrant families have moved into the area so the ability to speak Chinese (they look Chinese, we're not sure what they are) is a plus but not a requirement. Because the church is small and stretched financially, the new Pastor may need a second job. It should also be noted that the congregation, like all other church families, has so many needs the Pastor will be on 24 hour call. If you have any questions please contact the head of the Deacon board, Mr. Myles at (440)555-7777.

Shelly placed the lone sheet of paper on her desk, folded her hands and began to pray, "Lord, they did tell me I could edit this if I wanted to . . . "

That afternoon the following ad was posted on the denomination's web site:

PASTOR WANTED FOR SMALL CHURCH IN OHIO.

Due to the retirement of our former Pastor, the fellowship here at Grace Church is seeking a new Pastor. The man we are looking for is the Spirit filled man called of God to serve Him here. If, after praying, you are interested, please contact Deacon Myles at (440)555-7777.

My name is Timothy Johnson. I am Pastor of Countryside Baptist Church of Kingman IN. I am also a correctional officer for the Federal BOP.
My wife's name is Julie and we have 4 grown children and 6 grandchildren.
My e-mail address is: [email protected]

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User Comments

I am interested in Pastoring any church that is of God, RegardsrnPastor Paul [email protected]
2018-01-06
Let me get this straight.....you want someone who is 35 or younger with 30 years of experience!!!rnYou mother fuckers are warped.rnThere is no help for you.
2019-10-10
Helping the Lost to Come to Christ Jesus.rnHelping Believers to "grow in grace and in the knowledge of God and our Lord and Savior", as I, too, grow with you.rnLeading, by example, in such a manner as to "see the Scriptures become an integral part of our lives" is my great [email protected]
2019-12-02

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