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Keep the memories clear

by A. Diane Kennedy  
1/14/2010 / Death

Every January, I write something for R.J and the kids. This year makes 14 years since his death and Jess and I are still turning the memories into living pictures for Jacob. But this year, I am going to dedicate this one to three more people, Caitlyn, Cole and Chance. So here is my once a year article in honor of my best friend and all of those trying to keep the memories from fading.

R.J. and I met my daughter was 2 years old. He passed away when she was four, two months before our son, Jacob was born. Those first few years were terrible for me and I tried not to think or talk about it anymore than I had too. I kept the pictures on the wall but tried not to look at them. Because I knew if I did the tears would start to flow. But all of that changed when Jacob turned two.
Jess had taken her little brother into her room to play while I was fixing dinner. After fifteen minutes passed without a sound (that usually meant that my house was in danger) I walked down the hall toward her room. I could hear her crying as I reached the door. Jess had a scrapbook of R.J. and she was going thru it with her little brother. But she had come across a picture of Ryan laying in the floor laughing like he had lost his mind. She couldn't remember what he was laughing about.
I ask what she was crying over, assuming that Jake had smacked her with a rubber horse again, she replied," Momma, he is getting cloudy and if I lose my memories Jake won't have any." That was the breaking moment. While I had been trying not to remember, she had been doing the opposite for her little brother. So together, Jess and I came up with this little prayer to ask God to keep the memories from fading. I can honestly say that it is an answered prayer. Jacob Randall will be fourteen in March, if you tell him a story (omitting the fact that it is dad you are talking about) he knows "THAT"S DAD!"

Dear God,
Please wipe away each tear;
Keep the memories clear.

Help me remember that smile;
And carry it on another mile.

Grant the words to make them real;
Real enough to see and feel.

For my little brother, I pray, year after year:
KEEP THE MEMORIES CLEAR.


dianekennedy 2009









If tears could build a stairway and memories were a lane,
We would walk all the way to Heaven, to bring you home again
No farewell words were spoken, no time to say good-bye
You were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why
Our hearts ache in sadness, and secret tears will flow
What is meant to lose you, no one will ever know
-anon

Diane is a former event model and scout with a new book coming out in April of 2010.
Diane Kennedy
www.dianekennedy.info

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