The crashing, grinding, crunching metal sounds. Oh, the pain. The pain was still there and I couldn't move.
It was so dark. Need to turn on a light. I can't feel the switch, I can't move!! Ahhh, what's that skittering across my face and onto the wall? NO, the wall is wet, almost slimy what is that terrible moaning and groaning noise? I can't reach.I am frozen still. And that other noise it sounds like people are grinding their teeth. It smells terrible here. Where am I?
"Daddy, the nurse says I can only have ten minutes and we need to talk. I hope you can hear me they say a person can hear even when they are unconscious. I want you to know how much I love you, even if I don't act like it all the time."
"I want to forgive you, Daddy. For those times you said you'd come and you didn't show up at my games but told me "next time", next time never came. For those times when we ate beans for dinner but you always had money for your before and after dinner drinks. And for those times when Mommy had bruises and said she'd slipped and fallen.. I forgive you."
"And Daddy, at our Bible club they said we all have missed the mark and need forgiveness. We need to ask Jesus to take over our lives. Guess that makes sense since we seem to be able to make a pretty good mess of things on our own. Daddy, He died a most horrible death for me and for you. Can you ask His forgiveness?"
"Britt, your ten minutes are up. Someone from the family can come in next hour."
"I love you Daddy" I felt my daughter's arms hugging me tight but couldn't squeeze back. Then the room was empty.
All my life I have never made good choices. I pay and my family pays it has been a pretty terrible price. Whoa, what are those terrible smelling, hunched over black figures scurrying around here. I can sense them more than see them. I need help. I can't talk or even whisper. I hurt so badly. All I can hear now is the swoosh, swoosh of the respirator. Ifeel the tube in my throat. I have done so much, so many awful things that have hurt us all. Oh, God, if you are really therecan I whisper? J-E-S-U-S F-O-R-G-I-V-E M-E?
Oh, my, the darkness is gone. There is an alive, almost liquid golden light in the middle is a brilliant white being with His arms reached out to me taking my hand, lifting me into His embrace. I notice 2 other huge, awesome beings standing by me. And those smelly black skittering beings are moving fast to disappear screaming, crying and covering their eyes..I feel clean, new and free in His embrace. It is nothing you can know until you experience it. He is totally indescribable, never could I imagine
The nurses were talking, "A" bed is empty but we are expecting a surgery in later this afternoon. "B" bed, the auto accident head injury has a plan that pays for forty-five days. His days are up tomorrow, he'll be taken off life support then." Switch.
My blog is: http://myincrediblelord.blogspot.com/
(C) Marijo Phelps all rights reserved. Use with proper credits.
Saved by His grace in 1974, from 9 years of professing atheism into His loving arms. RN for 23 years, missionary with YWAM then statistical analyst for Every Home for Christ over 9 years. Living with my husband in the middle of a mountain meadow. GRIN! Wanting to spread the good news
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