Godly Romantic Relationships Outrageous Ideas on Sex Before Marriage Series
by Marijo Phelps 2/22/2010 / Christian Living
Mick and I were seeking the Lord for our relationship. We had developed a close friendship and we both wanted more than that friendship. Most of all we wanted to be in the center of God's will for us. In Youth With a Mission there were neat guidelines about relationships (Biblical) that saved a lot of pain. If a guy or gal felt more than friendship for someone of the opposite sex they talked to that person. If the feeling was mutual they both prayed and asked the Lord what His plan was for the relationship. They also asked their small group leader to pray over the relationship. This way, you could actually hear from the Lord BEFORE your emotions got into high gear and made it very hard to hear anything.
At first Mick felt the Lord telling him to back off and not be asking me to marry him. At the same time I knew the Lord was saying that by allowing our heads to go to thinking about the romantic side of things we were not walking in what He called us to "a godly, non-romantic relationship", since we were getting ahead of God with our emotions. This is when we decided to pray and fast including "fasting" from seeing each other until we heard more from the Lord. My small group leader asked me what I would do if the Lord said no to anything more than friendship. I said "I suppose I'd quit seeing him" She then asked "Why would you kill the friendship that He called you to." Definitely not what I wanted to hear but this was not over yet.
If you are thinking about a life-long commitment it is best to consult with the one who lovingly created you and had a plan for your life made sense to me! Because Mick didn't have a small group leader at this time we ended up praying with the whole pastoral council there at YWAM. The following "word" was written after we had not spent time together for three days we were praying and "fasting" from seeing each other. We waited to hear from the Lord.
Something quite unusual happened. I was given 8 "blind reference" scriptures. I felt impressed of these scriptures chapter and verse. They were not ones I had memorized and I had no clue what was there until I looked them up. One of the books I didn't even know was in the Bible. They were beautiful and went in a progression from our friendship to forgetting things in the past - we had both been divorced before we came to the Lord and had not lived saintly lives. Then there was a scripture about ministry -the Lord gave me one in the Old Testament and Mick roughly the same one in the New Testament! There was another about walking Godly in our relationship. One about Ruth and Boaz with Ruth coming under Boaz's "covering". The scripture was about sexual intimacy, indicating that we were going to be married. During my quiet time I felt the Lord laid the following on my heart:
My precious daughter (smile) sometimes you face even the positive experiences in life like going to the dentist or wisdom tooth day. Was I not there with you and in ways you never dreamed? I love you.
You are now able to walk or at least stand in My peace. I'm glad. Think of the azaleas you saw your springtime is about to bursting forth as I restore those Joel 2:25 years (years of the locust and canker worm)
Do you not see? He is my priceless and cherished son. Open tenderness to him but guard your passion there will be times and seasons yet to come. Walk in today and savor every minute. I'm holding you both - one by each hand - come walk with Me.
Seek ye first My kingdom and I SHALL add all these other things unto you two. Relive not the memories of your past for I've given you today and each other. Be blessed. Rejoice and let me know your delight in that with which I've blessed you.
Daughter, defer to his headship and mine. Look to leadership and doubt not all things in time My time we're still right on schedule. I know My ways for you two. Rest assured. I will clarify, you shall know beyond doubt.
What a blessing to be prayed over and have those who were our spiritual covering be impressed that this was God's plan. And to have our individual prayers answered by Him who created us. We released into a furthering of our friendship and something more, a relationship with the Lord at the head that so far has lasted a lifetime!
Yes, by this time he had kissed me. OK, I had kissed him too, more on this soon. Sometimes we had dates just to talk in the library at YWAM. Other times we took my roommates with us to treat them to dinner out and so we could avoid placing ourselves into situations where self control might be compromised. God has a plan for ALL aspects of our lives and relationships, it is SO incredible.
May I add a PS, we were two normal, healthy, red blooded adults in our 30s. We had both been married before. This is a piece I wrote during that time. A fervent prayer, actually!
Prayer: Lord Jesus, you know how I always was at Christmas, trying to find out surprises, overhearing conversations, sneaking around to rattle boxes or peek through papers. If mom and dad were gone I was known to pry open package ends and peek inside. Time was my enemy, as was waiting. Patience was nowhere within me.
Is that perhaps why, on that big morning after awakening every half hour though the night that when all the papers were ripped off and the contents revealed there was a measure of happiness or joy and a measure of "is that all there is?" Was it because my focus was on things and not your birth? Was it because I tampered in an untimely fashion with those gifts?
Lord, there is an incredible gift wrapped and set aside for our upcoming wedding from you to us and then us to each other. I beseech you to let your strength be evident in our weakness! Let not even a corner of the paper be torn or wrinkled. Help us, I pray to cherish, trust, WAIT and not gobble. Oh, Jesus, help our focus to always be looking up to you. Father hear my cry. AMEN
Was it easy? Nope. Was it possible to "not awaken our love before its time"? Definitely. Stay tuned.
(C) Marijo Phelps all rights reserved. Use with proper credits.
Saved by His grace in 1974, from 9 years of professing atheism into His loving arms. RN for 23 years, missionary with YWAM then statistical analyst for Every Home for Christ over 9 years. Living with my husband in the middle of a mountain meadow. GRIN! Wanting to spread the good news