Hiding Behind the Paper Outrageous Ideas on Sex Before Marriage Series
by Marijo Phelps 3/02/2010 / Dating
My normal routine was to take a walking quiet time around the Twin Oaks Youth With a Mission Base. It began before sunrise which got me to the lake with a bench around sunrise. I could read my Bible then and pray. One of the roads took me past some of the staff housing and Mick, my "special relationship" guy, had asked me to stop by for morning coffee that Saturday on my way back to the girl's dorm. This morning I had driven my truck over to the spot and after a good time at the lake left to meet Mick for coffee.
As I came to the guy's staff house I could see Mick on the porch reading the morning paper. HE saw me coming and went in to get me a cup of coffee. Yum, it was warm and strong with just the right amount of creamer and sugar. Good stuff on this early East Texas morning. We were surrounded by trees and the sun was coming up higher making the grounds so pretty.
"What are you up to today?" I asked the front of the newspaper. No response. I made a couple more comments about the day and asked a question about the trip we'd planned to take after church Sunday to see his aging mother.
No comments just a rustling of the newspaper.
A couple years prior my marriage of 12 years had ended. My ex had an affair and prior to that used to give me the silent treatment when he wasn't being verbally derisive. All of that pain began to roll over me and a wave of numbers of questions seemed to knock me off my feet.
You thought Mick was different and here he is behind the newspaper ignoring you and your talking. You thought you could have a real relationship. Boy doesn't this surprise you?
Miss Calm, Cool and Collected was tearing up I got my keys from my pocket and decided to drive up to the front office. It was Saturday, no one would be in the office part. I could sit at my desk and talk to the Lord about my overwhelming emotions. I could get a grip, possibly figuring out what was happening.
I parked my truck out back so no one on the road could see I was in the office. My desk was back by the snacks and chocolate seemed like a real great idea at the time. By this time I was flooding the tears were just not stopping. And more things were cramming my mind.
Pretty soon I heard a tapping on a nearby window. Sticking my head into that room I saw Mick reaching up and trying to get my attention. How did he even know where I was? This ranch was huge 500 to 600 some acres and I had never gone to my office except to work during my work week.
The front door dragged open and I let Mick come in.
"What are you doing up here?"
"Hey, Marijo, what's with all the water works there?"
The story tumbled out about Tom and how this was sort of déjà vu and I lost it.
"I am SO sorry, I was going to answer you when I finished that paragraph and then I heard your truck motor, Jo, I had no idea. Can we talk to the Lord about this?"
My red headed Mick put his hands on both of my shoulders and began to pray. He prayed about the Lord Jesus touching and healing me, helping me to realize that Mick loved me and was committed to our relationship.
I began to realize several things. The enemy had been working overtime. The Lord still had some healing in mind for me. I forgave Tom all over again. And that because Mick's divorce was some 13 years prior his "issues" weren't so close to the surface. I asked him to forgive me for taking off like that. He said he was so sorry I had felt ignored. Big hug!
I realize that the Lord gives forgiveness, healing and restores. I also realized that there is still a time of reaping and sowing from past choices. I married Tom after living with him for 2 years. I married him before I met Jesus. He never came to the Lord and chose divorce. A lot of who I was as a woman and even a woman of God was because of those 12 years. It definitely was not all bad. God was also in the process of restoring the years of the locust and canker worm. This was a scripture given to me the previous year. I was starting to find out what some of that meant. The Lord whispered to me it was regarding my marriage to Tom. At that time I was not even in a friendship with Mick.
25 " So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, The crawling locust, The consuming locust, And the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you. 26 You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, And praise the name of the LORD your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you; And My people shall never be put to shame. 27 Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel: I am the LORD your God And there is no other. My people shall never be put to shame.
O felt that my Jesus was reaching out and taking away more of the pain and the shame. HE was blessing me with a wonderful guy who understood and was helping me walk through this healing/forgiving/growing time. Thank you Lord!
2 Thessalonians 1:10-12 (New International Version)
10on the day he comes to be glorified in his holy people and to be marveled at among all those who have believed. This includes you, because you believed our testimony to you.
11With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. 12We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.
What are prerequisites for successful dating?
A. You are old enough to date when you are:
1. Aware of the benefits and dangers of dating
2. When you've worked out from the scriptures your standards
3. When you've purposed in your heart not to lower those standards even if it means losing dates
B. Understanding God's order for us as human beings if the foundation for us in dealing/morality with the opposite sex.
1. Spiritual the world shuns this
A. My purpose in dating: is to read the Word, pray, witness and share the Lord in our lives with each other. (with an equally yoked person who has a personal relationship with the Lord)
1 Corinthians 6:16-20 (New International Version)
16Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." 17But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. 18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
2 Corinthians 6:15-19 (New International Version)
15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[a]? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?16What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people." 17"Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you."18"I will be a Father to you,
and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."
Some of these writings are based on a lecture series called Sex and Dating by Dale Crall and are used with his permission. Thank you Dale!
(C) Marijo Phelps all rights reserved. Use with proper credits.
Saved by His grace in 1974, from 9 years of professing atheism into His loving arms. RN for 23 years, missionary with YWAM then statistical analyst for Every Home for Christ over 9 years. Living with my husband in the middle of a mountain meadow. GRIN! Wanting to spread the good news