What Does the Bible Say Outrageous Ideas on Sex Before Marriage Series PART 2
by Marijo Phelps 3/07/2010 / Dating
Being mighty in the Spirit.
1 Corinthians 2:10-20 (New King James Version)
10 But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. 11 For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. 12 Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.13 These things we also speak, not in words which man's wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual. 14But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. 15 But he who is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is rightly judged by no one.16 For "who has known the mind of the LORD that he may instruct Him?"
But we have the mind of Christ.
Our intellect is surrendered to the Holy Spirit and the thoughts in us aren't necessarily our own. They can come from the Holy Spirit. (Sometimes from Self or the enemy too)
If you're all of the sudden uncomfortable around a guy you are with it might be the Holy Spirit in you that is sensing that he is lusting about you. Our human spirits communicate with each other all the time. If a guy is thinking unholy thoughts regarding a girl, her spirit picks it up and she will be turned off by being around him. If she's receptive it will make you both all the weaker.
Satan loves extremes. Harlot or lesbian will both destroy God's perfect plan for a girl living righteously.
There are consequences for "blowing it" with somebody. Why do a lot of us get mad at God begin a physical relationship with each other, break up, come back to God, repent and think no more consequences but He doesn't change events that already happened.
All works together for good in our lives but we reap what we sow. When we blow it we diminish God's plan for our lives.
Sex is any physical involvement before marriage: heavy "making out", petting or intercourse. As singles we can be complete only in Jesus. Marriage does NOT complete us. Our companion is to accent our life and ministry.
Hebrews 11:25-26 (New King James Version)
25 choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, 26esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt; for he looked to the reward.
The passing pleasure of sin, eventually sin makes you miserable.
2 Thessalonians 1:10-12 (New King James Version)
10 when He comes, in that Day, to be glorified in His saints and to be admired among all those who believe, because our testimony among you was believed.
11 Therefore we also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power, 12 that the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.
What are prerequisites for successful dating?
A.You are old enough to date when you are:
1.Aware of the benefits and dangers of dating
2.When you've worked out from the scriptures your standards
3.When you've purposed in your heart not to lower those standards even if it means losing dates
B.Understanding God's order for us as human beings is the foundation for us in dealing/morality with the opposite sex.
Spiritual the world shuns this aspect of dating.
My purpose in dating: is to read the Word, pray, witness and share the Lord in our lives with each other, with an equally yoked person who has a personal relationship with the Lord.
1 Corinthians 6:16-20 (New King James Version)
16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For "the two," He says, "shall become one flesh." 17But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.
2 Corinthians 6:14-16 (New King James Version)
14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: " I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God And they shall be My people.
Standards for dating:
Why do you want to date someone?
NOT because you are popular or foxy.
A.Your heart's motive from a clean heart
1.God said to and is directing you into this relationship
2.God is in it
3.To glorify God
4.Keep all relationships God centered, not "we" centered
B.Give up all your rights for example when they are spending time with another person.
C.Keep it light base your relationship on truth and God's Word no heavy discussions on how much you mean to each other or what you like or don't like in the other person until the engagement or there is too much emotional involvement too soon.
If there is too much emotional involvement too soon this will result in fights and quarrels.
D.Communicating with your companion if you sense that the person you are dating likes you more than a sister or brother you have to reestablish the brother sister guidelines again.
I just want to know you're my brother get back into balance OR if it is becoming more tell them. Girls have a hard time being blunt and laying it on the line.
To know that it is blessed of God communicate and submit the relationship to those in authority over you your prayer group leader, pastor, prayer covering, or parents if they know the Lord.
PRAY. With each other and with those in authority over you. If someone is checked or not in agreement with the relationship then keep praying until God shows you or the person not in agreement why there is a "road block".
F.(This was relevant for the Youth With a Mission Community but would have application in a church group, Bible study group or other accountability group)
Announce that you are in a "special relationship" more than just sister and brother, before the group. The group can then bathe you in prayer.
You need someone outside the relationship to pray with you. The devil wants the relationship to become ingrown and dark.
G.A dating Christian couple committed to God can get subtly caught up in the things of the world house, car etc. Come together in marriage for ministry and missions. Ask: "God show us the ministry you have for us as a couple".
Don't get caught up in the status quo. It is a responsibility of a dating couple to reach out to singles and to build relationships with others.
Focus on commitment rather than romance. Yes, God is very romantic, there is much time for that aspect of a relationship after the solid foundation is build upon commitment.
When you don't date for spiritual purposes the following are the conflicts of dating (for other than spiritual purposes)
1.There's an inability to share your faith, if you have a physical emphasis/involvement there is intimacy before marriage.
2.Soul (personality) mind + will + emotions - likes, dislikes etc. when you are engaged. No physical contact (kissing etc) before engagement because it stirs up emotions and God didn't intend this.
3.The Body to cleave together in marriage.
If you violate the order of 1-3 here is what will happen after marriage:
1.Communication will break down after marriage because communication wasn't developed before marriage.
2.There will be mistrust of self, the other and each other.
Refrain from kissing and hugging and walk away in victory. drawing closer to the other person through this.
Dating come together spiritually and bring each other closer to Jesus
B.Engagement more intimacy in communication; sharing likes, dislikes about each other etc. Don't point out things you don't like about a person until you're engaged.
For girls love can change from phileo to eros without them even knowing it.
The enemy tries to put a wedge in communication in relationships SO those fights aren't necessarily his (the date's) fault. Don't direct blows at the other person but at the problem (the enemy) not at each other.
The guy should never say "I love you" unless he is willing to say in the next breath "will you marry me?" "If you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth." Something takes place in the spirit and there is a release of power so watch out.
Sex is like fire, it is amoral. Fire can warm a house or burn it down, with limits it is beautiful and without limits it is totally destructive.
Let's take a look at some Biblical answers regarding why for a few minutes:
Salvation is a living personal relationship with Jesus Christ and knowing you have to turn lose of a sexual involvement prior to marriage
Bitterness keeps someone from getting right with God.
Romans 8:1-2 (New King James Version)
Free from Indwelling Sin
1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,[a] who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.
The Lord Jesus Christ can and will restore innocence and forgive you. You might reap from what you have previously sown but there can be a new beginning with being set free, clean, new and making good choices from today onward.Do not presume upon His forgiveness but make good choices now.
There is hope in male/female relationships. Hope to do it right and be blessed in that. Mu hubby and I can attest to that along with many, many other couples who have made bad choices in the past and been restored by the Lord.
Romans 1:18-20 (New King James Version)
God's Wrath on Unrighteousness
18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, 19 because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. 20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse.
Yes, we are without excuse but there definitely is forgiveness and restoration if we are wanting to change and be renewed.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 (New King James Version)
Perilous Times and Perilous Men
1 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! 6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. 8 Now as Jannes and Jambres resisted Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, disapproved concerning the faith; 9 but they will progress no further, for their folly will be manifest to all, as theirs also was.
Proverbs 5 (New King James Version)
The Peril of Adultery
1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom;
Lend your ear to my understanding,
2 That you may preserve discretion,
And your lips may keep knowledge.
3 For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey,
And her mouth is smoother than oil;
4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death,
Her steps lay hold of hell.[a]
6 Lest you ponder her path of life
Her ways are unstable;
You do not know them.
7 Therefore hear me now, my children,
And do not depart from the words of my mouth.
8 Remove your way far from her,
And do not go near the door of her house,
9 Lest you give your honor to others,
And your years to the cruel one;
10 Lest aliens be filled with your wealth,
And your labors go to the house of a foreigner;
11 And you mourn at last,
When your flesh and your body are consumed,
12 And say:
" How I have hated instruction,
And my heart despised correction!
13 I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers,
Nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me!
14 I was on the verge of total ruin,
In the midst of the assembly and congregation."
15 Drink water from your own cistern,
And running water from your own well.
16 Should your fountains be dispersed abroad,
Streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be only your own,
And not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.
20 For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman,
And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?
21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD,
And He ponders all his paths.
22 His own iniquities entrap the wicked man,
And he is caught in the cords of his sin.
23 He shall die for lack of instruction,
And in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.
Some of these writings are based on a lecture series called Sex and Dating by Dale Crall and are used with his permission. Thank you Dale!
There are many more articles in this series if you enjoyed this one you might want to read the others!
(C) Marijo Phelps all rights reserved. Use with proper credits.
Saved by His grace in 1974, from 9 years of professing atheism into His loving arms. RN for 23 years, missionary with YWAM then statistical analyst for Every Home for Christ over 9 years. Living with my husband in the middle of a mountain meadow. GRIN! Wanting to spread the good news