Tips for Christians to find Suitable Marriage Spouses
by Angie Lewis 3/08/2010 / Christian Living
For the Christian to have a great marriage means to have a great relationship with Jesus Christ. You must be willing to serve and care for your spouse even more than you care for yourself. This attitude of service in both the husband and the wife will allow for the marriage to prosper and flourish with blessings.
God did not sanctify (set apart) marriage for spouses to be selfish with one another. Good grief, no! Marriage was created and instituted for God's purposeyour marriage belongs to God. Marriage is a living symbol of the relationship between Christ and the church.
As a Christian if you believe that you are ready to care for and commit your life to another in the "ways of the Lord" then the next step is to find friendships in the Lord and wait on God and be still with your emotions. Don't let your emotions rule the relationship. That means you have to get dating and the attitudes that are associated with dating completely out of your mind. Dating is not for the sincere Christian to partake in.
Find Friends With Common Interests and Beliefs
God will make aware to you, if you are "still" with your emotions, a suitable man or woman in the Lord. Christian single people should not have intimate attachments with others (date), but rather they should search for like-minded friendships in the Lord through common interests and beliefs.
These common interests might be a church activity, sporting event, school function, project or hobbyists event, or a community play, etcetera. At this event you can meet other Christian people that share in the same interest as you. Then you can become friends with them, not because you want a intimate relationship but because of the common interest that you both share.
Friendships with the opposite sex, who are of like-mind, are wonderful to have. But they should never progress to anything further than getting to know each other based on respect and brotherly and sisterly love. In other words, your feelings for this person do not lead and control your actions but rather follow your actions, where they are kept in check, at least for the time being.
Be Discerning With Your Friendships
You should be very discerning with any friendship you would like to pursue further for a possible marriage candidate. Carefully examining a persons character is something a smart Christian will do before allowing the progression of any relationship to be more than just casual friends. Remember, emotional attachments are of no value where there is no commitmentthey mean nothing!
The main goal in any new friendship is to NOT allow your feelings to control the relationship. Keep God always your main focus and at the top of your priority list as the relationship develops. If you feel that you are unable to keep your emotions in check then you must pray about it and ask God to give you the direction you need.
In fact, if it is too difficult emotionally to have your emotions follow the relationship then you should back away from them for a brief period of time and pray about it. Don't allow yourself to become heartbroken over someone who really doesn't care about you. If the relationship is right for you, God will intervene in His own time and way.
Be Still With Your Emotions
Be still with your emotions and wait on God. God will certainly let you know if this person is the one to make a lifelong commitment with. The only time you should allow your emotions to take over and give your heart to another is after you have made the commitment to marry and are betrothed (engaged).
God wants young people to remain emotionally pure before marriage just as He wishes them to remain sexually pure. Mary and Joseph were betrothed for a couple of years before they actually got married but they both knew that soon they would be married and because of that they most likely gave each their hearts, minds, and souls during the betrothal period, still they never had sex until the actual marriage ceremony and they were created "one flesh" in spirit, body and mind.
Sexual intimacy should be reserved for the big wedding day. This is God's will for all believers, young and old. I don't think you will ever regret saving yourself for the man or woman you will spend a lifetime caring for and loving. It is the way of the Lord and many blessings will surely come your way.
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against how own body. Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
(1 Corinthians 6:19-20)