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All in One Package Outrageous Thoughts on Sex Before Marriage Series

by Marijo Phelps  
3/10/2010 / Dating

A group of us were playing Risk together. This was definitely before Mick and I were in a courting relationship. His roommate had invited me over for a rousing game of war and battleships and laughs and Mick happened to be in the group who decided to play too.

I was reaching for the dice or moving some of my battle ships as Mick grabbed for something on my side of the table. His hand brushes my elbow and 4th of July fireworks ensued in my tummy.

Before I came to the Lord relationships I had been in with "fireworks" had all turned into huge disasters. SO I thought that the meaning of this innocent encounter was that I was to keep avoiding Mick at all costs. Thankfully, I mentioned this to my small group leader, Mary. A dialog began about God and His perfect plan for marriage and how He wanted us to have it ALL.

Friendship needed to be the foundation but there was also common calling in the Lord. It wouldn't work is one of you was called to be overseas and the other felt called to do inner city USA ministry ok, that makes sense. AND the Lord wanted you to be attracted to each other physically and romantically. The trick was to HEAR from Him before you got your emotions turned loose because those emotions can make super ear plugs.

The Lord is the greatest romanticist in the universe. Just think about it and also take a look at Song of Solomon sometime too.

Hum, so that might mean I could still be Mick's friend even though I was attracted to him, novel idea. The Lord Jesus had done much healing within me and it looked like there was still more to come.

I was SO thankful for being at Youth With a Mission at this point in my life. What teaching, prayer covering, leadership to get close to and the Lord Jesus Christ to open up to and allow to do what He had for restoration and growth.
Mine was to be yielded to Jesus and He was doing all the rest and it was nothing short of incredible!

More teaching on relationships:

Sex is any physical involvement before marriage: heavy "making out", petting or intercourse. As singles we can be complete only in Jesus. Marriage does NOT complete us. Our companion is to accent our life and ministry.

A. Lasciviousness/defrauding increases impatience, makes you harsh and robs you of God's peace, makes you restless.

B. Lust builds in you an attitude of being a quitter because you can't stop yourself.

Romans 6:12-18 (New King James Version)
12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. 13 And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. 14 For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.

From Slaves of Sin to Slaves of God

15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not! 16 Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one's slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? 17 But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. 18 And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.

L. Lasciviousness/defrauding reduces the sensation and height of enjoyment of sex/excitement.

M. Sex works on the law of diminishing returns before marriage. Then you eventually want another partner.

N. Lasciviousness/defrauding leads to a cycle hand holding becomes putting your arm around becomes kissing becomes making out then petting, stripping etc.

O. Within marriage YWAM teacher Dean Sherman had a visual of God's protective circle around the couple. Within that circle (marriage covered by God) there was no guilt. The Holy spirit entered into their spirits in the marriage relationship.

P. Sex before marriage is more vanity with a focus on looks, make-up, face, figure or body.

Q. Sex before marriage changes the participant's eyes

R. Sex before marriage produces insecurity which increases the need for companionship.

S. Sex before marriage produces a comparison in looks etc. with other girls/guys and you get jealous and threatened.

T. Sex before marriage is performance oriented.

U. Sex before marriage increases fear as a result of guilt.

Some of these writings are based on a lecture series called Sex and Dating by Dale Crall and are used with his permission. Thank you Dale!

There are many more articles in this series if you enjoyed this one you might want to read the others!

Please feel free to leave comments or questions.

My blog is:

(C) Marijo Phelps all rights reserved. Use with proper credits.

About Self

Saved by His grace in 1974, from 9 years of professing atheism into His loving arms. RN for 23 years, missionary with YWAM then statistical analyst for Every Home for Christ over 9 years. Living with my husband in the middle of a mountain meadow. GRIN! Wanting to spread the good news

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