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Thoughts On Understanding The Opposite Sex
by Greg Baker
4/09/2010 / Relationships
MEN FORM RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH SHARED EXPERIENCES. WOMEN FORM RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH SHARED EMOTIONS.
I've found this to be pretty consistent. Men get close by sharing experiences while women get close by sharing emotions.
Ever wonder why a woman often likes to talk on the phone? And why a man likes his 'guy's night out'?
One of the most common complaints that I hear from wives is that her husband won't sit down and talk with her. She feels that she can't get close to him unless there is a sharing of emotion. Men, on the other hand, want to go play tennis, or watch a movie, or build something.
Two men can get up at the crack of dawn, not say a word to each other, gather their gear and hunting rifles, and quietly slink into the forest to their deer stands. They won't say a word to each other the entire day, come home and feel that he and his buddy had a great time together--that they had this male bonding thing.
Women, however, will sit around and 'gossip'. Why? This is the sharing of how they feel about so and so, or such and such situation. This sharing of emotion endears them to each other. Most wives crave this type of emotional sharing with their husbands.
I recall an instance when my wife brought to my attention a problem she was facing. I listened attentively, like a dutiful husband, and as soon as I clearly understood the problem, I outlined a course of action that I felt she needed to take. While I was telling her what to do about the problem, I noticed that she was looking at me funny.
I asked, "What's wrong?"
"I already knew what to do," she told me.
"Then why are you telling me all this?" I replied in confusion.
"I just wanted to tell you how I feel about it."
Well, I learned a great lesson that day, and a great truth about my wife. There have been many times since then that I've sat and listened as she either complained about something, explained a problem, cried about a situation, or laughed about something. I found that that was all she wanted from me anyway...to listen and talk about it.
In fact, I've learned that, in many cases, if you want to figure out what a woman is going to do, you need to ask her how she feels about it. Finding out how she feels will clue you in to what she intends to do. For a man, ladies, if you want to know how he feels, ask him what he intends to do, and you'll figure out how he feels. Otherwise you might run into this situation:
"How do you feel about your meeting with the board tonight?" the wife asks.
"It's just another meeting," he responds absently with a shrug. "I'll live through it."
If, however, you want more from him, maybe you ought to ask it this way:
"So what is your plan for the board meeting tonight?"
"Well, Joe will be my biggest problem. If I can prove to him that my ideas are sound, I'll carry the entire committee. If I can't do that, I'll try to appeal to the director. I know for a fact that he has a weakness in this area..."
Some Good Advice:
1. Husband, set aside time just to talk with your wife. She'll feel close to you. In fact, allow her interrupt privileges. Give her the power to interrupt what you are doing to talk to you. She'll love that and feel that you do indeed love her.
2. Wife, involve yourself in your husband's activities. He is closest to those that he works with, and if you are involved, then he'll feel close to you too. If you take an interest in his hobbies, job, and activities he'll include you more often.
MEN ARE TURNED ON BY SIGHT. AND WOMEN ARE TURNED ON BY TOUCH.
I'm not going to delve too deeply in the differences between male and female sexuality. However, there are profound differences. I want to focus on one.
Men are turned on by sight, while women are aroused by sensual and gentle touch. Our society knows this. Men create women's clothing and look at the result. Most women clothing is tighter, more revealing, more sensual, and more immodest than men's clothing. Men like to look. Why do you suppose that the pornography industry targets men by and large?
However, a woman likes to be wined and dined. She likes the romantic settings, the gentle language and touch. She's not overly excited by a man walking around without his shirt on, or a man strutting around in very short shorts.
If you don't believe me, the do this simple test. Set yourself in a store entrance of any kind. Mark down how the first ten men who walk in are dressed and the first ten women. You'll find that the women, by and large, have less clothing on, tighter clothing on, and more seductive clothing on. The reasons may be varied and complicated, but the fact of this is indisputable.
It's part of how we are different. Women want to feel pretty. So they dress to feel pretty. Men enjoy looking. looking can turn a man on.
Some Good Advice:
1. Husbands, take your time with your wife. Wine and dine her. Be romantic, do romantic things with her. And it doesn't have to lead to sex.
2. Wives, be modest in public and immodest in private with your husband. I'm sure you can think of some ideas. But prove to your husband that your body is reserved for him, not for every man that has a pair of eyes. But when it comes to your husband...let him see!
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