Christian single, have you been pondering whether the man or woman you are involved with is Mrs. or Mr. Right? If so, this lesson takes a Biblical approach to looking at love relationships and will give you some clear answers as to whether the man or woman you are with is the real thing and the best that God has for you.
Now I'm going to assume that you are already abiding my the biblical dating formalities, that is to "be not unequally yoked with an unbeliever," and that you are to marry someone who is "in the Lord." So, if your significant other is not of the faith you really don't have to read any further. 2 Corinthians 6:14:15 asks us, "What fellowship has light with darkness?" Do you really want the enemy as your father-in-law? Of course, he or she may be a wonderful person, but when the going gets tough who or what will they put their faith in if not God?
The foundational scripture that I'd like to begin with is 1 John 4:19, "We love God because He FIRST LOVED us." Do you see the significance of those words? We didn't chase after God. No, he chased after us. He lured us into a relationship with Him. Romans 3:11 tells us that no one seeks after God without him first seeking after them. It was God who waited at the well to talk with the woman who had already lived with seven men and the man she was currently with wasn't even her husband. It was God who asked the questions and then provided the answers that would bring about her deliverance and change her life. That day as she made her way to the well, she wasn't thinking about whether she would have an encounter with God today, no, she was going to get water. But God knew in advance that she would be there and he waited. Then he wooed her with his words.
Single ladies, how often is this scenario in reverse for you. You get all dolled up and go to this or that event, hoping and praying that Mr. Right will find you? Hey, I use to do it all the time. Do you ever leave feeling disappointed, especially if you go to a Christian singles' event and there are 30 women for every one man. The odds really aren't in your favor.
But I want you to make a shift in your consciousness today. I want you to see the development of a true love relationship, a godly love relationship in a whole new light. I want you to see a love relationship that mimics the relationship that God had with Israel, a prophet had with a prostitute, and Jesus has with the church.
Did you know that God's relationship with the children of Israel in the Old Testament shows the love that a man is suppose to have for his mate? Are you aware that over and over and over and over in the Bible that God pursued the children of Israel only to be rejected again and again and again? Passage after passage throughout he Old Testament is God pleading for the children of Israel to love and follow him because He wanted to bless them. Anyone who says God isn't patient or merciful hasn't read the Bible. He never gave up; he still hasn't. These were his people and He loved them despite their bad behavior. All he ever wanted was for them to return and embrace his love.
In fact, he also used the story of Hosea to further depict his love and faithfulness to his people. God put an unconditional love in Hosea's heart for a prostitute, Gomer and told him to marry her. In Hosea 3:1, God told Hosea, "Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites." Hosea took Gomer to his home and gave her everything he had. He was crazy over her. But her old ways and life would lure her back into the streets and the arms of other men. Yet, that did not stop Hosea from finding his woman and bringing her back home. That's how much he loved her.
Did you know that the relationship between Jesus and the church is our model for marriage? The Bible says that "we" are the bride of Christ. In Mark 2:20 Jesus refers to himself as the bridegroom. And because of his love for us, he stepped off his throne in heaven, lived on earth for about 30 years where he was ridiculed and rejected, and then died violently on a cross in order to restore our relationship back to God so that we could live eternally with Him. Revelations 19:7-9 and 21:1-2 tells about the ultimate wedding that will take place. We are told that at the second coming of Christ, the official wedding ceremony will begin and the eternal union of Christ and his bride (us) will become a reality.
Well as I continued to prepare my presentation the Lord spoke to my spirit and said, that if a man is not as crazy and devoted to you as Christ is to the church and God was to the Children of Israel, he is not your bridegroom but a hireling, a fake. Wow! We loved God because HE first loved us. We are to love the man in our life because "he" first loved us, not because we manipulated, coerced, seduced, or even threatened him in marrying us. As women, we are to be receivers, not chasers. God created the man to choose, to pursue, and to love us and not the other way around. Ephesians 5:25 tells men to love their wives as Christ loved the church. But unfortunately, a role reversal has taken place and women have begun to aggressively chase after men and use any and all means to get them. Ladies, you may get a man, but he won't be your bridegroom! When God does the choosing he will send him correct and He will put a love in his heart for you that will last longer than a flicker in the night.
I have known of men who waited for women for YEARS because they knew that woman was the one God had for them; they had eyes for no other. It didn't matter how cute someone else was, their hearts were taken. Often times the women couldn't see it. They just weren't interested at all, but God began to do a work in their heart as well and these marriages are just as strong today as they were years ago.
I know I'm going to sound a bit out there right now, but I'm going to say it anyway. Ladies, if the man in your life is not crazy about you, can't stop thinking about you, doesn't nurture and cherish you, doesn't love buying you little things to see you smile, and if that man in your life wouldn't die for you, he's not your bridegroom. He is a fake and he'll never love you like a true groom would. Now you can settle for him just to have somebody and not be alone, but just be clear what you're doing. However, if you want God's best, then wait for God to bring him to the well of your heart. Let him ask you for a drink of water but all along his true intentions are to water you with his love, to woo you, and to take you as his own.
Now married ladies, your man may have started out thinking you were the cream in his coffee but because of the little foxes that were swept under the rug and not exposed and dealt with, a wall may have surfaced between you. It's time to detox your relationship from everything that stands between you and your man and get those sparks flying again. So don't despair, just start doing that mental and spiritual cleaning that is blocking the love between you from flowing freely. However, if you settled for a hireling, you may have to work harder to cultivate love and passion in your relationship, but with God all things are possible.
Now for the men, I told you that you can glean from this article as well because if the woman in your life doesn't make you a little "coo coo," when you think about her then she probably isn't the one either. I believe that when God presents that woman in your life you will eat, breath, dream, and sleep her. You won't be able to get her out of your mind. It's like thoughts about her will haunt you, in a good way of course. And yes, you would give her your all, up to the point of your own life. Your love for her will represent the love that Jesus has for the church and God for his people.
Therefore, single ladies if you are in a relationship and with a man, in which, you are always questioning whether he loves you, you don't know his intentions, and you are carrying the bulk of relationship, run away, don't walk. This man is "just not that into you." Your bridegroom and your Boaz won't have any problem showing you and telling you how he feels.
Lastly, be patient and as you learned in previous lessons, learn to have a relationship with yourself and be fun, confident, and a joy to be around. Then one day when you least expect it, he'll be right there waiting for you and you thought you were just going to buy some lettuce.
Rhonda Jones is the creator of over 25 Christian meditation and affirmation Cds and the author of the Christian makeover program, Detox Your Life & Awaken Your Inner Spirit. Learn more about books, CDs & annual Christian Meditation and Yoga retreats at http://www.thechristianmeditator.com.
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