Christian Relationships: Saying No to Your Boyfriend's Sexual Advances
by Angie Lewis 4/20/2010 / Relationships
Most young women "give in" to their boyfriend's sexual advances because of peer pressure and fear they will leave the relationship if they don't give in and have sex. This is precisely why young people today should NOT ALLOW their emotions to lead the relationship. Let me ask you this. If you become emotionally attached and they leave you anyway, how are you going to feel then? Isn't it better to not become too attached to someone, at least until there is a commitment?
Sex between two people is not needed for a commitment to marriage and anyone who says differently is deceiving you. Believe me, there are many fish in the sea that will actually love you for who you are. There is really no need to be in fear of losing a loser. Am I being too harsh? I don't think so. God calls them heathens. Only losers beg for sex after you told them "no" fifteen times already. Only losers would disrespect your "Godly right" to remain pure until marriage. Only a loser would defraud your body with sexual advances after you told them "no"!
It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-6)
Remember: Even if the guy says he loves you, don't give in. If a man truly loves you, he will not keep trying to arouse sexual desire within youhe will not take advantage of you! What he thinks is love is only lust and desire, which never turns into a REAL commitment for marriage.
Sadly if you do get married to these types, who only care about sex, they will truly believe that after several months or a year into the marriage that they are not in love with you anymore and most likely be unfaithful. That is because they have confused love with lust. Love would never intentionally harm another person. "Love is not self-seeking" (1 Corinthians 13:5) "Love always protects" (1 Corinthians 13: 7)
What to Tell Your Boyfriend
First off tell him you respect him and that's why you are not going to use him for sex. Let him know that you love God and you also respect your body and reserve the right to keep it pure for God and your spouse for marriage one day. Did you know that by having sexual relations before marriage the Christian would be sinning against God and defiling the Holy Spirit that lives within him or her?
Show him this scripture: "Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
The truth is dating and everything that comes with dating is NOT scriptural. That's because dating is a temptation that leads to sex. For the Christian it is always best to remain platonic friends until you get to know if they are compatible with you or not. If the relationship never has any commitment for marriage it is best to remain friends and never give your heart awaythat way no one gets hurt.
Always be true to yourself and tell any new friendships of the opposite sex that you are saving yourself for your spouse, honoring God with your body and are not going to have sex. This gives the losers, the ones who are only out to disrespect you, a chance to walk away from the relationship without wasting your time and causing undue heartache.
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)