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Poems from Another Lifetime Part 8

by Marijo Phelps  
10/07/2010 / Poetry

This is part of a series of poems which were written years ago before I came to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Some were written when I was a professing atheist and an alcoholic. If you have read my pieces since I came to Jesus I think the contrast is evident.

Poems from Another Lifetime Part 8


Where did it come from
This silence of ours
From nothing unspoken
From nothing unsaid

Where did it come from
This anger of mine
From self hatred due to dominance
Over a second self

This anger, this silence
Multiplied and magnified
Through no response
It grows

Where did it come from
This overly aggressive girl
From passiveness
On the part of another

Where is it going
This happiness of ours
Suppressing anger
I become less than I am

This happiness returned
Rationalize I
For another
It is really there

Where did it go to
This love of ours
It was destroyed with the creation
Of "less than I am"


Will I ever know
Will I ever be sure
Or will I always go
Looking, lost and searching

Through the years
I searched for it
Yet I still couldn't find
What love was supposed to be
To bring peace of mind

Searching for it for so long
I never really did know
That I lost love
When I lost you
So very long ago


The mirror reflects
Herself, herself, herself
Echoing and reechoing
Across the many faceted green

So real as to touch
With sure gentle hands
As he did to start
The season's change

She sees
In the mirror reality
No more an image hazy
In the fog of sublimation

Or askew in line
With self deceit
But real
For she was touched by his hand

The hand which held hers
Over the paths
Through her mind
To honesty, reality
Echoing and reechoing
Across many faceted green
Her eyes reflect
Herself, herself, herself.


Yours want to be I always
Mixed up has me
This crazy thing called love
Happy, strong, wonderful and bursting
Feel I that it is that
To work, to live, to love dream I
Love is a word overused and trite
Some often use it
But do they have it right?

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About Self

Saved by His grace in 1974, from 9 years of professing atheism into His loving arms. RN for 23 years, missionary with YWAM then statistical analyst for Every Home for Christ over 9 years. Living with my husband in the middle of a mountain meadow. GRIN! Wanting to spread the good news

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