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by Jan Ackerson
9/25/2006 / Death
So this is the end, is it, Lord? I heard them whispering about me, dont you know, this afternoon when they thought I was asleep. They dont realizethat young doctor and my grandsonthat slumber slips away from me these days, as furtive as a mouse.
So there he sleeps, in that chair next to my bed. Hes a good boy, Lordwell, gracious me, hes thirty-two if hes a day. Not a boy any more, but Lord Lord, I can remember when he was just a tyke. Hair just exactly the color of an old red barn, yes it was, and more freckles on his nose than bees in a September swarm. And he was a tender-hearted little fellow, toorescuing that baby waxwing that fell from its nest, and now all grown up and rescuing lost souls.
That solemn doctorhe said he didnt think Id make it through the night. This must be what dying feels like, then. Why, theres nothing to it at all! Oh Lordy, it was so much harder when I lost my sweet Susan. Two days of hard labor she had, and then she kissed her babe and flew away home. I didnt think my poor heart would ever survive that sorrow, dont you know. But You gave me her precious little red-headed boy to love away the pain
I just dont understand, Lord, why You took away that little boys mama. My sparkling Susanher hair always looking like a copper cloud, and couldnt keep shoes on her feet for more than a minute or two. How that child loved to laugh! Thats why you called her home, I guess, you just missed her way of laughing all up and down the scale, didnt you now? We thought we would drown in an ocean of laughter that day when Susan made her daddy a sandwich with a scrap of velvet in the middle. Roys eyes got as round as new pennies when he bit into that bread.
Good Lord, its been a sweet life. Remember how I prayed and prayed that youd send me a good man? An old maid at twenty-eight, I thought I was, and then there was Roy, standing at my door with his hat in his hand. He was such a quiet mancouldnt hardly bring himself to ask for helpbut werent those blue eyes full of deep? Was it You put that nail in Roys tire? Well, mama always said You had a sense of humor, she surely did.
MamaI guess shes been singing with Your angels for over fifty years now. Dont You just love that rich, deep voice of hers, Lord? Almost like a mans voice it was, but with just enough sweetness to turn your thoughts toward honey. How I loved to snuggle in her lap, and smell that lavender-and-bleach aroma that was mama, and have her sing to me. Swing low, sweet chariot, comin for to carry me home
Why dont You just come and carry me home then, Jesus? Im ready to do some singing, and to shake the ache off these old bones. Here I amcarry me on home.
Jan is a Christian who has traveled through sorrow and depression, and has found victory and grace. She dedicates all writings to her Heavenly Father. Check out Jan's website at www.1hundred-words.com
Copywrite Jan Ackerson--2006
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