"OK. We're back live at the Oscars with our continuing look at the best and worst dressed nominees."
"Wow! Now here's a little number that is sure to raise some eyebrows!"
"I'd certainly say so. She is wearing something that combines a kind of jungle motif with straps that resemble vines. Fleshing out the whole ensemble is what looks like a handbag of something reptilian -- could it be snake?"
"Definitely a fashion risk, I would say. Low cut. Dare I call it sinful? Yet it has a certain appeal."
"And here comes her darling hubby, attired in a matching outfit! It must have been very difficult to sew that material. Really, it looks almost like individual leaves sewn together. But he carries it off very well. And I LOVE the apple-red cummerbund."
"You know, looking back I seem to recall this same couple caused quite a stir when they appeared, well, nude at one of these events?"
"You are exactly right! I had forgotten that. What a sensation they caused. I believe they were thrown out shortly after that."
"And I must say, they don't look particularly comfortable today. They were in the garden taking photographs earlier and every time the gate slammed they jumped right out of their skins!"
"Oh well, enough about them. I'm not sure I recognize the next celebrity who just entered the room. Very rugged looking with a kind of wild thing going on with his hair. And a striking departure to be wearing white among all the black and gray tuxedos, don't you think?"
"Definitely an interesting look. Do you think it might be Armani? Simple yet elegant. Just a long tunic really, but it appears to be made from a single piece of cloth. I don't see any seams."
"Oh, what IS he doing? Why, how crass! He's got a whole armload of knockoff tunics and he's trying to hand them out to everyone in the room! What nerve! He must be some shill for a foreign designer!"
"Well, stranger still! Some of the nominees are putting them on. Isn't that Tom Cruise pulling a tunic over his head? And Britney Spears? She hasn't got the bustline to pull that off. What is she thinking?"
"All I can say is I wouldn't be caught DEAD in that outfit!"
"What's that? I couldn't hear you over that infernal TRUMPET!"
"Wait, everything is getting dark! Oh goody!"
"The awards are about to begin."
I'd like to give a special thanks to Genesis 3:7, John 19:23-24 and 1 Cor. 15:52 and to everyone who has taken the "fashion risk" of following Jesus.
Al Boyce is a former writer and reporter for The Associated Press. He lives in Raleigh, NC, where he now writes for God.