Christian Articles for All of your Publishing Needs!

Translate this Page Here




Word Count: 515

Send Article To Friend Print/Use Article

Contact Al Boyce

Sermon on the Mall

by Al Boyce  
3/15/2007 / Humor

And in those days, there was a shopping mall where Jesus and His disciples paused to address the multitudes.

Jesus spokes in parables, so that even the lowliest shopper would understand.

"The Kingdom of God," He said, "is like a shopping cart full of purchases that is let free on a sloping parking lot and dents the door of a BMW."

His disciples widened their eyes and nudged one another with their elbows, not understanding.

Jesus, sensing their thoughts, explained thusly: "The shopping cart is your faith -- rolling on shaky wheels. Its contents are your foolish ideas about hedging your faith with works. Overburdened with those ideas, the cart can only do damage to whatever it encounters, even those who are rich in faith."

"The Kingdom of God," He went on, "is like an after-Thanksgiving sale."

Again the disciples were mystified, so Jesus continued: "You find out about the sale at the last minute, get up early and stand in a long line only to be told when you reach the door that the last sale item is gone. And there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth."

"Teacher ... " began one disciple.

"Not now, I'm on a roll," Jesus replied.

"The Kingdom of man is like the waterfall in the middle of a large shopping mall."

Not waiting for the rolling eyes of His disciples this time, Jesus continued: "A waterfall SHOULD be the free outpouring of obedient service to God. But THIS waterfall is false. It is chlorinated, blue-tinted water recycled with electric pumps to give the APPEARANCE of an outflow when, in fact, it feeds only itself."

Jesus took a long drink from a styrofoam cup and straightened His shoulders to launch another parable. Only then, too late, did the disciples realize the cup was full of Mountain Dew.

"Behold, a merchant went out to advertise. He dropped some sales flyers by the road and others were taken by the wind and still others fell in the hands of wealthy shoppers. But an enemy put sales fliers from a competing store among them and it was a store selling leaven and lamps. So many virgins, hoping to build dowries, flocked to the second store. Some came in the morning and some in the afternoon and some in the evening, but the store owner gave each the same silver pattern. The silver they gladly sold in exchange for the gift certificate of great value they found hidden at the mall.

"The first merchant was displeased that no one came to his store and opened the doors to everyone, even those who were searching for lost sheep and coins. But when one shopper refused to put on the free T-shirt she acquired at the door, she was thrown out into the alley behind the store."

The disciples gently took Christ aside and explained the effects of too much caffeine to a jittery Jesus.

He nodded wisely, as if to say that, once again, they had underestimated Him.

"If anyone has ears to hear," He said, "let him hear."

Al Boyce is a former writer and reporter for The Associated Press. He lives in Raleigh, NC, where he now writes for God.

Article Source: WRITERS

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! Click here and TRUST JESUS NOW

Read more articles by Al Boyce

Like reading Christian Articles? Check out some more options. Read articles in Main Site Articles, Most Read Articles or our highly acclaimed Challenge Articles. Read Great New Release Christian Books for FREE in our Free Reads for Reviews Program. Or enter a keyword for a topic in the search box to search our articles.

User Comments

Enter comments below. Due to spam, all hyperlinks posted in the comments are now immediately disabled by our system.

Please type the following word below:

Not readable? Change text.

The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of

Hire a Christian Writer, Christian Writer Wanted, Christian Writer Needed, Christian Content Needed, Find a Christian Editor, Hire a Christian Editor, Christian Editor, Find a Christian Writer

Main FaithWriters Site | Acceptable Use Policy

By using this site you agree to our Acceptable Use Policy .

© All rights reserved. Free Reprint Articles - Your place for Christian articles, Christian poems, Christian stories and much more.