Sex is a gift from God to married people, yet many churches fail to teach on this topic/ subject. They shy away from issues to do with sex and relationship, yet they wonder why the divorce rate is so high, even in the church.
If couples go to church to get married, should it not be that pre-marital and marital counselling also come from the church? Just as a new believer is taken through pre-baptismal and/or 'new converts classes' so should a couple be given pre-marital counselling. But it shouldn't stop there. Once you become a believer, you don't automatically become a mature Christian; knowing how to walk the path of righteousness. For this reason, the new convert's class; bible study and prayer meetings are introduced so that one can learn and grow. In the world of retail we call this 'after-care'.
We are celebrating our seventh year of marriage and have only participated in one such programme which we had to search the internet to find. We found this programme (designed for married couples) to be quite helpful. Unfortunately this help came for us after the damage was done. Had we been in a similar programme shortly after getting married, we would have been more prepared to face the obstacles that had come our way. We now feel for other couples who are being neglected in this area and feels let down by the church. So, I am asking all church leaders today who currently neglect this area, to consider putting in place an after-care service for the couples you marry and those other couples seated in your church pews?
It is time to start preaching the whole truth of the bible and not just what you think the people want to hear. We respect that there are areas of delicacy where children are concerned and cannot be fully dealt with during the weekly worship service. It would therefore, be more appropriate to use the evening sessions or have a special series of workshops/seminars etc. dedicated to these issues. Even one evening of discussion for the whole year would be better than to ignore it and pretend it doesn't matter.
"Sexual immorality has no place among Christians" (Ephesians 4:17-19). So teach the people, according to the Word of God, so that they understand how to walk right with God. It is not enough giving them a quote to read on the wedding day as they make their vows to each other. It needs clear understanding and they need support and guidance in living according to those vows.
"Sex in marriage is honourable and pure" so we should not be afraid to talk about it. "God wants us to live in holiness, not lustful passion" so why are we so comfortable while those in our church pews are dying from toxic dosage of sexual immorality?
Teach from the word of God, the truth and nothing but the truth. Part of your role is to encourage others not to sin. So it shouldn't be enough just carrying out a marriage sermon and being there to call on when things go wrong. It should be an ongoing service which helps them to embrace the changes that will come and encourage them to constantly renew their vows.
Help them to grow in their knowledge of God. To do this will help to rid your church of sexual immoralities which are hindering the spiritual growth of members and subsequently, the church.
Copyright 2007 J. S. Ramkissoon
Janice, a freelance writer, lives in the UK and enjoys spending time with her husband, Vince and their son, Javin. She uses her gift to encourage others towards a deeper relationship with God, through her inspirational pieces while her travel articles provide general advice for the holiday-maker.