by Melissa Martin
10/30/2011 / Christian Living
Grouches. Grumpies. Gripes. There are times when I find myself in the land of self-sourness with pessimistic thinking and feeling. Complaining is added to my morning routine along with cream and sugar. Like a programmed robot, I take the dogs out to potty, make the coffee, and then plop into my favorite chair to dwell on stress and strain. I entertain tension. "Come on in fretfulness and fear!" Anxiety and apprehension is invited to set and visit awhile. Thankfulness and gratitude have left the building.
The days go by in a grumbling whirlwind. I am easily irritated. I criticize others for little things and for big things. Griping is served with the evening meal. I'm back on the hamster wheel of life - hurry, scurry, and worry. I allow the influence of other people to permeate my brain and soul. I listen to gossip and add my two cents. I focus on the short-comings of others and not myself. Sarcastic words visit along with some anger. I'm stuck in my own little world of cynicism. Misery knocks at my door and I open it. Acid rolls off my tongue too effortlessly. I wallow in some self-pity.
How easily I forget about God's grace. How easily I grieve the Holy Spirit.
I know why the grouches are here again. My contemporary Christian music is turned off. My Bible is closed. Morning time with Jesus is canceled. Prayers are short and me-centered. My hands are not lifted into the air for praise and worship.
Then I am visited by guilt, shame, and condemnation. I've failed Jesus once again. Feelings of unworthiness drop by. I beat myself up for awhile. I curse the human condition and focus on me-me-me. The air feels tainted and heavy.
On my knees I find God's love, grace, and mercy once again. God did not move I did. God did not change I did. The grouches, grumpies and gripes make an exit as I focus on Jesus. Calmness and peacefulness knock on my door and I invite them in. I jump into a cup of grace and drink in forgiveness. I raise my voice and my hands. "Thank-you Jesus!" I open my Bible and my spirit. I breathe in fresh air along with God's goodness.
Melissa writes about the God and human connection and condition.
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