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Coffee is the Fifth Food Group

by Melissa Martin  
11/08/2011 / Humor


Consumers adore coffee. The world runs on coffee. But, what has happened to the coffee bean? It's a bean with an identity crisis. Therapy is desperately needed. The yuppie Baby Boomers are to blame. They've flavored it, mixed it, and roasted it. They put it in a machine-o and called it Cappuccino. Creamers come in every flavor except licorice. Coffee calories are on the rise; whipped cream on top is fattening, after all. The coffee bean will never be the same again. A cup of regular Folgers is only for elderly accountants and librarians. The younger generation desires coffee with pizzazz and a power-packing punch! Cosmic coffee concoctions like Caribbean Mocha Dream and Hazelnut Heaven dazzle consumers at quaint little cafes. There is a Star Bucks on every corner. Coffee romantics sip and exchange passionate glances over a cup of Hawaiian Honeymoon Luau Delight. I guess consumers wouldn't buy a beverage called Mud Mocha Muck or Fancy Fuddle Fizz. But, coffee is in competition with Jelly Belly Beans; a hundred different flavors to choose. Coffee tasting may some day outshine wine-tasting parties.

I admit to being a recovering captivated flavored coffee drinker. I 'm going through the Twelve Steps now and I admit to being powerless over Hazelnut Espresso Latte. Aerating aromas that tantalize my taste buds provide instant gratification for my addiction. Yes, flavored coffee is in the limelight but for how long? The American taste buds are fickle and willing to follow other bewitching brews. Therapy is the only entity that will prepare the coffee bean for the changes in societal preferences.

Melissa writes about the God and human connection and condition.

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