MANAGING THE FEAR OF LONELINESS
by Stan Popovich 4/27/2007 / Self Help
Sometime or another we will experience a time when we are alone. The first step is to become comfortable with yourself and having the self-confidence that you will be able to manage being alone. There is nothing wrong with being alone. If being alone bothers you then seeing a counselor can help you with these issues.
In the meantime, here is a short list of techniques that a person can use so that the fear of being alone doesn't become a major issue in their lives.
The first step is to find an activity that you enjoy and where you can meet a lot of people. For instance, joining a group activity such as a volleyball group, women's club, or making crafts can be a great way to meet people. Doing something that you like to do will make you happy and will increase your chances of making friends.
Spending time with animals can be a great source of companionship. Having a dog or cat can make us feel loved. If you don't own a dog or cat, then volunteer at the local animal shelter. Spending time with an animal or pet can help us to feel better and can be of good company to all of us whether we are alone or not.
Helping others through community service can be of some help. There are many people out there who could benefit from your time and talents. Helping others can give you a source of pride, help you feel better about yourself, and can provide long lasting friendships. Give it a try and you will be surprised.
Challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your lonely or depressed, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense. For example, some people may think that if they are alone at the present time then they will always be alone. This is not true. Even if your alone today doesn't mean that you will be alone all the time. No one can predict the future with one hundred percent accuracy.
It isn't fun being alone, but sometimes there are worse things. For instance, imagine that you are married or stuck in a relationship that you can't get out of and also makes you miserable. Not only do you have to live with this person, there is no way to get out of the relationship because of various financial or personal reasons. As a result, you are stuck living with someone that you can't stand and makes you depressed every single day of your life. With this viewpoint, being alone doesn't sound that bad.
The important thing is to do something constructive. Sitting around and doing nothing will not make things any better whether it is dealing with the fear of being alone or something else. Go out and do something that you like to do. In addition, take it one day at a time and stay committed in trying to solve your problem.
Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods" - an easy to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For info go to: http://www.managingfear.com