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Sticks and Stones

by William Ryzek  
6/25/2012 / Christian Living

I'm sure all of you have suffered the taunts and ridicule of your school mates and siblings at one time or another. It happens so often it seems normal, at least until recently when the problem of bullying came to the fore. The old saying that 'sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me' is now being rejected as patently false. While it's true that words can't physically do damage, like sticks and stones, certain kinds of words and the way they are spoken can inflict far worse injury on their victim.

The power of words and their delivery is why James spoke of the tongue in largely unflattering terms because, when uncontrolled, it wreaks havoc upon the speaker and those within earshot. Giving someone a 'tongue-lashing' is a good example. But how is it words and speech are so powerful that they can change the course of history, change the lives or millions, bring kings to their knees, or cause someone to feel pain? They are, after all, only words, ephemeral things having no physical dimensions at all.

The short answer is because the universe itself, and all of us in it, were created by words and the breath that gives them utterance; speech and speaking, therefore, are part of the very structure of existence itself. (Heb. 11:3; Gen. 1:26, 2:7). In like manner, when we speak there are effects, consequences, so much so, in fact, that "life and death are in the power of the tongue" (Prov. 18:21). This power resides in the meaning of words according to the definitions they possess. Definitions in turn are made up of concepts, or ideas, that give content to the words being spoken. When a word enters the mind of a listener emotions are stirred, the intellect is quickened and the will moved to respond to what is being said.

But there's more to this. Behind the words is the act of speaking itself which always intends to accomplish something, whether to clarify, explain, reveal, upbraid, comfort, guide, extol, criticize, harm, deceive, persuade and so on. Furthermore, and most important to understand, words expose the person speaking, their motivations, desires, attitudes, personality, agendas, motives; in short, who and what they are behind the veil of flesh, self-deception and their own assumptions. All of this is why Jesus said with absolute surety that "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" Speech is self-revelation and self-definition; it is who I am and what I mean. So, when I speak I am engaging in the very activity that brought about the creation of the worlds, I am creating an environment, a kind of world in fact, in which I and others who hear my words are affected, for good or for ill, whether by clean air or pollution.

By my reckoning, the 'right to free speech' in our Constitution doesn't go near far enough since even the foul-mouthed, unintelligent, uncivilized, profane and unjust among us (see Psa.5:9 and Psa. 10-3-11) are protected and can say what they want. Christians are governed by a far higher and noble standard whereby speaking is elevated to righteous, holy and truthful utterances that imitate the speech of He Who spoke the worlds into being.

So, what are we supposed to say and how are we to say it?

Answering the second part first, consider what Jesus and James said: "But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or "No, no; anything beyond this is evil." (Matt. 5:33-37) and "But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but your yes is to be yes, and your no, no so that you may not fall under judgment." (James 5:12)

You might think these passages are just about oath taking before God in some religious contest, not normal conversation but it is precisely in the course of regular dialogue that oath taking is prohibited. Saying anything like "I swear on a stack of Bibles that I'm telling the truth" or "As God is my witness what I say is true" or "I swear on my mother's grave I'm telling the truth" or any other creative appeals have no place in Christian conversation. Why? Because whatever we say, whenever we say it, and to whomever we say it about anything at all is to be trustworthy. This eliminates the need for any invocation of God, graves or Bibles as guarantors of our veracity.

Living in our culture makes this a tall order indeed. Expediency and pragmatism rule conversations these days so people are inclined to say whatever serves their purpose and advances their cause, from sales to politics. We must understand that none of us is exempt from facing circumstances where speaking the truth might mean losing livelihoods, alienating friends, being rejection by fellow-workers, or even being placed in harms way and, consequently, tempted to lie. There are even philosophies suggesting that lying can serve a higher good than truth-telling and in certain circumstances should be preferred. I can only say that loving, serving and obeying Jesus is the highest good and that we are exhorted not to lie (Col. 3:9); this seems to be the sum and substance of the issue. I don't have the wisdom to decide if there are exceptions. So it seems that the best answer to the second question is this: we are to always speak the truth and do so with love thereby forgoing all types of false and deceptive speech. (Eph. 4:14-16)

Now, regarding the first question posed "what are we supposed to say?" the Bible has many examples, far too many to discuss here so just one will have to do. Particularly apropos to our societies drug and alcohol induced euphoria and escapism, even amongst Christians who struggle with such things, is Ephesians 5:18-21. We are instructed to "not be drunk with wine, which is dissipation (read reckless living and/or debauchery), but be filled with the Spirit speaking to one another in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things". This is, indeed, elevated conversation that not even the most educated and sophisticated in the politest of conversations can hope to match.

I think it significant that being filled with the Spirit and speaking are closely associated here. The environment we create when filled with the Spirit is filled with joy, praise, laughter, encouragement, and thanksgiving for all things which sets Christian conversation apart from all others. When filled with the Spirit, we can be thankful, always thankful (not just when the mood strikes us) for all things (not just those that suit us. This is especially important because an attitude of thanklessness describes an entire world rejecting any knowledge of God and in unparalleled hubris falling into idolatry. (Romans 1:21-23) Unlike the world, Christians acknowledge God as creator and sustainer of all things and thank Him for His gifts including existence itself. Speaking thankfulness (it is important to say it, not just think it for it is a witness to those still in darkness) for all things in our conversations reveals the stunning reversal of humanities hubris through God's redemptive work.

The question for all of us, then, is what kind of 'world' do we create when we talk to others? Is it a world filled with condemnation, vulgarity, and darkness or one filled with grace, love, compassion, wisdom and truth? Is it a world people are drawn towards or repelled by? Is it a world Jesus would feel comfortable in or would He be embarrassed? I've asked myself these questions and consequently I'm much more attentive to what I say.

William Ryzek, PhD has been both a pastor and academic for several years. He has published articles in various magazines and newspapers. He can be reached at [email protected]

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