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God, Which Way Do I Go?

by Cortney Donelson  
7/20/2012 / Devotionals

Psalm 119:125 (NIV)
"I am your servant; give me discernment that I may understand your statutes."

My dad, whom I have grown up respecting more than anyone, made a comment one day that left me lost in thought for a better part of two days. My parents, husband, two kids, and I were all standing around the kitchen counter during one of my parents' visits from Pennsylvania. We were having a fairly benign conversation that suddenly plummeted right into the spiritual.

My seven year old son was sharing with my dad that when he grows up, he wants to be a pilot in the military. Reminiscing about his own invitation to the Air Force Academy and how he had declined it, my dad said, "You know there are so many choices and decisions we make throughout life that can change the paths we take forever."

It blew me away. In fact, I spent the next 24 hours thinking about all those choices I had made that have led me to where I am today. There was the one that took me to Ithaca College in New York instead of to Wake Forest University in North Carolina, with a hope to play more competitive tennis. Through God's plan, it was at Ithaca where I eventually met my future husband. There was the choice to have an abortion at age nineteen because I naively believed my abusive boyfriend was giving me no other choice at the time. It was shortly after that decision when I met that man who would become my husband. He was the one who introduced me to Jesus, and I found God's forgiveness for all the poor decisions I had ever made.

Then later in life, there was the decision to let go of our infertility struggles and allow God to lead us to our children on the other side of the world through adoption. Finally, there was my recent choice to stick through a very troubled marriage, simply because God asked me to stay and trust Him. Psalm 119:125 became my plea:

"I am your servant; give me discernment that I may understand your statutes."

God answered. Now, my husband and I once again have a strong and happy marriage, and I give God the credit for my choice to fight through the messiness and make it to the other side.

It seems that before my relationship with Jesus was ignited, my choices were selfish ones, made out of fear or pride. It is quite obvious to me that the choices I have made since I invited Jesus into my heart and soul have been made in tandem with faithful prayers for discernment and wisdom. I am continually seeking God's counsel. I cannot imagine navigating this world without Him. I cannot imagine trying to make some of these decisions, large or small, without the knowledge that God's purposes and plans for me are always good and perfect. My desire is to be a faithful servant of God.

So, what has been the most critical, life-changing choice I made in my life? It was the best one I ever made. It was the one to follow God and trust His ways completely. It is a choice I continue to make every single day.

Prayer Dear Lord, thank You for Your sovereignty! I would be lost in this world without Your promptings and answers to prayer. I pray You continue to delight in me, and I in You. Give me discernment and wisdom through all life's decisions so that I can grow in faith and fulfill Your perfect plans for me. In Jesus' Name, AMEN!

Cortney Donelson is a wife and stay at home mom with two beautiful children, adopted from Russia and China. She is also a member of Oaks of Righteousness ministry team (www.oaksofrighteousness.info), a NC-based ministry dedicated to reaching out to women & teen girls. Her email is [email protected].

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