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Christian Marriage Help: Adjust Your Expectations in a Difficult Marriage

by Karla Downing  
12/18/2012 / Marriage

Are you looking for Christian marriage help that will keep you from being continually disappointed in your difficult marriage? The best way to decrease your disappointment is to adjust your expectations.

When you have normal expectations in an abnormal marriage, you are in a continual state of up and down emotions. The easiest way to protect your emotions, conserve your energy, and get off the roller coaster of hope and then disappointment is to accept who your husband is. You don't have to approve or like it. Just face the reality, so you won't keep hoping for things that won't happen. Proverbs 13:12 tells us that hope that's not fulfilled makes our hearts sick. Instead of fighting reality, accept it, and then you can decide what to do about it!

This doesn't make his wrong behavior okay. It doesn't mean you can't set boundaries to protect yourself. It doesn't mean you have to accept whatever he does. It doesn't mean you have to say that it doesn't bother you. It only means that you need to protect yourself from living in a state of shock every time he doesn't do what you want.

When you know what is typical for your husband, then you can be prepared and make choices that take care of yourself. If he doesn't do anything in the yard, then you can decide if you want to do it, have the kids do it, or get someone else to do it. If he drinks too much alcohol when you go out, make arrangements to drive yourself so you can leave when you need to. If he has a temper, have a plan of when to walk away. If he is violent, be prepared to protect yourself. If he overspends, then make plans to put money aside to pay bills. If he changes his mind at the last minute and cancels plans, then have a plan B so you can go without him.

Adjusting your expectations in a difficult marriage will keep you from being continually disappointed. Try it! It works!


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Next, if you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life.

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