I have a cross that my husband is very ill. We have been married over 27 years and it hurts that for the last two years of our marriage he has been so ill that I am not able to care for him at home.
When I am out with friends and I see other couples happy together, I hurt inside. Hurt for what is no longer possible for us.
What has come of this pain and hurt? I now have more compassion for people who are going through loss of a family member or friend. I can understand, to a certain degree, the pain they feel.
I know how easy it is to feel lost and alone. How easy it is to curl up in pain instead of reaching out to others.
It is hard to admit to ourselves that we are the ones in pain, that we need help. To ask for support, to make an active effort to fight depression and loneliness.
It also hurts to see someone you love suffer, and lose the ability to walk, to feed themselves, to carry on the daily activities that most of us take for granted.
In my faith journey I have turned to Jesus, and offered the sorrow and suffering to Him. I asked him to help me, to give me the grace to walk with my cross, to help my husband with his cross. Jesus has provided close friends in the Body of Christ to walk with us and share the journey.
I have had to learn to receive, as well as to give. To admit my weaknesses, and that I can not carry the cross in my own strength. I need His Grace, His strength and His companionship.
In prayer I am closer to Him and His pain, and also to His grace. I am learning patience, to live in the present moment, to be with Him and His cross. Jesus is changing my heart, not the circumstances.
I pray that by sharing this, it may help others in their pain, with their crosses.
(C) Janet Riley, 2012. I know God as a personal God who communicates with us, if we listen. I am starting on a Christian writing career and open to where God leads me. Please review my other articles at FaithWriters. I would like to hear from you. Please email at email@example.com.
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