This poem ain't a good one.
It may be crass and crude -
but if you read a few more lines,
you'll find what I conclude:
I care about appearance. I'll show off latest trends.
I'll change the way I talk and act impressing all my friends.
Don't call me dumb and stupid. I'm not a bit insane -
yet clueless as to pricing so I angerly complain.
First I waste my money on some foreign plastic toy -
and then complain there are no jobs in states like Illinois.
I vote for those who give me stuff like total free health care -
then think I won't be paying it (naively unaware)...
I want a king or emperor to handle my provisions -
tell me how to act and think and make all my decisions.
Don't call me dumb and stupid. I'm just confused with facts.
Just promise me more goodies now so they can pay my tax.
Wow! Every time I hear you speak, my knees begin to go.
I faint within your promises - oh, how I love you so!
Just deposit, every month, some cash to my account -
and I'll be so contented. Keep track of my amount!
And 'Bill of Rights" I'll never need - so scrap them all today.
I'm in a state of ecstasy when I hear what you say.
Abortion I don't care about as long as it's not me.
Allow me my vacations so that I can feel free!
My 1st amendment, I can't use. Why bother I, to preach -
that people ought not kill or steal? ( 'cause that's for you to teach ).
And I don't need the 2nd so protect me from my gun.
When someone tries to kill me, I'll just call to 9-1-1.
"Search and seizures" - what are they? You're welcome anytime -
and I won't flush the toilet even once if it's a crime.
The 9th amendment's silly. I have no need for rights -
(nor my responsibilities) - so stop these petty fights.
The 10th amendment, I nix too, awaiting your dictates.
Let's call ourselves "United" eliminating "States".
United, we'll be holding hands as one huge human chain -
and simply jump the border here if we spin down the drain.
Though foreign countries snicker, I'll vote again for you.
For I'm a proud American. My insolence shines through!
Copyright 2004-2015 louis gander ALL RIGHTS RESERVED www.ganderpoems.org/
Written 4-20-15 by louis gander. FREE to print and use, but only with copyright information included - NOT for resale. Thank You!