The past two years had been a time of extreme trials. She'd had about all she could take between the emotional battles as well as the battle to regain her health. The quickness of her steps and stiffness in her posture showed clearly that she was upset. The tears in her eyes were threatening to fall down her flushed cheeks. Her mind so distracted that she couldn't see all the beauty of the trail that she was on.
How could You let this happen to me, God? I've faithfully served You for years! Wasn't it hard enough when my church family abandoned me because of the lies of another? And You kept quiet and let them believe the lie! Then I lost my house because of the mold that nearly killed me! But of course I didn't lose those mortgage payments, or the need to keep it insured, though I will never be able to live there again.. in the house that I raised my family.. I mean I can't even walk through the doors! Yet I have to drive past it every day while never being able to step one foot inside it again for fear of the effect it will have on my damaged lungs!
By this time she was sobbing, and the tears were cascading down her cheeks. She kept up her pace until she reached a large oak tree on her path.
I am SOOOO angry God, I'm angry at You because I feel like You have deserted me and let the enemy come in and destroy my life. Haven't I paid enough of a price yet? Are You now going to allow those thieves to come back and break into the old house? Are You going to let them steal the few things I still own? What have I done to deserve this? Did I do something to really tick You off, but I'm just too stupid to see it?
In her defeat and self pity, she slumped against the large trunk of the oak tree.
I just want to know why? WHY are You doing this to me? Don't you even care?
Her emotions spent, she leaned her head back and closed her burning eyes. Several moments passed before she opened them and looked around her. Finally noticing the awesome beauty that surrounded her. Her ragged sobbing turned into quiet tears of release.
God, I am so sorry for doubting you. Everything I own is yours. Do with it as you will. Just let me know You are with me, that you haven't left me, and that you really do care. My relationship with You is more important than any physical thing I possess.
There on that quiet path His peace surround her. She felt God wrapping His love around her and her spirit started to rise up once more in faith. It was then that she heard Him speak to her heart.
My child, you need to endure this hardness as a good soldier, so others may find hope as they watch how I help you. I have never left you or forsaken you. That is a promise I made to you long ago because of my love for you.
How wonderful it was to feel His encouragement and love. It was at that moment that she heard the familiar call. It was a beautiful red tail hawk that often soared high above her as she walked. She'd heard his call so often. Today was different though, for he was flying very low, calling out as if to tell her that God was always there, just as He was right now. She knew it was a sign from God, being sent of the wings of a promise. Sent to help stir up her lagging faith.
Later, a woman much different immerged from the wooded trail. This one had a deep peace and her face glowed with the happiness that only God can give. Yes, she would face this new trial with the confidence of knowing God was always with her.
II Tim.2:3 (KJV) - Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.
Hebrews 13:5 (KJV) - for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
From the beginning the Lord let me know I was to share whatever He inspired me to write. Now, over a decade later, I'm still sharing what He's given.