I remember when I was younger I used to go to clubs with my friends and hang out. I was never one to be out on the dance floor, and most the time I was the designated driver so I never drank anything other than coke. I would often times be sitting in the back watching all these drunk strangers meet on the dance floor and start making out with each other thinking, "wow, that's strange.". At least once during the evening I would have a young man approach me and ask me if he could buy me a drink. I would respond by saying, "Well, no you can't cause then you will expect something from me but I would be more than happy to buy you a drink if you would like to sit and chat for a while." Most of the time they would oblige and would sit with me the whole time we were there and just talk. Others would look at me like I was crazy and just walk away. The ones that did stay and talk before I would leave would say, "So, can I get your number?" Each and every time I would respond by saying, "No, but thank you for taking the time to talk to me I am seeing someone but I hope you have a good evening."
You see it wasn't because I wouldn't have liked to get to know the person better, but it was because I was in a committed relationship and I wanted to remain faithful. That didn't mean I couldn't have an intellectual conversation with someone or even connect with them on an emotional level, but it did mean that at some point during that connection you draw a line. For the young men I met back then that was confusing because somewhere in their minds they were thinking well if I talk to her now she'll definitely want to hook up later.
I started with that story because for many years society has misunderstood simple communicational relationships in general with other people. Today if you go to a club you see many different aspects of personalities and situations that are totally different from the generation that I grew up in. It's not unusual to go to a club these days and see someone making out with themselves on the dance floor. Not to mention members of the same sex, or even more than one person these days. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the occasional "Christian" clubber. However, sometimes I meet up with people I haven't seen in a few years and it happens to be at an establishment that I generally would not go to for any other reason that is out of my comfort zone.
When you think about how much the world and media focus more on sex than communication it's no wonder people are so ill directed when it comes to building relationships. The generations that are growing up today are confused about what's healthy and natural and what's impure. In a sense this has been transpiring through a few generations through technology, greed and superficiality. Media creates fairy tale stories like bachelor and bachelorette; and chaotic normalcy through shows like Jerry Springer and MTV real world. Giving people a false sense of the foundation of what real relationships are built upon.
Superficiality is where we have dropped the ball as a people in whole. Relationships are not successful when based on sex; statistics show that married couples who openly communicate with each other on every level are the ones that last. And lo and behold for those singles who want to test the milk before they buy it; sex is not as much a physical satisfaction as much as it is an emotional satisfaction because both parties can easily please each other when they are deeply rooted in communication and respect one another.
Many teenagers are growing up today confused on how to find acceptance and commonality with potential mates. When sexual curiosity begins to filter through their innocent little minds whether it be through media or people they are around their understanding is obscured. Young people think that just because they have an emotional connection with someone it means they must be sexually attracted to that person because that is how it happens. Or maybe they have a friend that they have a lot in common with and really be their self around so they think that person could make them feel comfortable exploring different curiosities. They have been mystified by society and don't understand that you can think someone of the same sex has an attractive character and outward physical appearance without actually being "sexually attracted" to them.
For whatever the reason as human beings we have a desire to be fully accepted by someone regardless of all of our insecurities, fears, hurts, and idiosyncrasies. What we fail to realize is IT IS POSSIBLE to find this in someone that is simply meant to be a great friend to you. Just because you connect with a person on all communicational levels and feel a deep emotional connection with that person doesn't mean that you have to be involved with them in a sexually intimate way. Unfortunately society has made it seem the exact opposite and many teenagers these days are stuck in this mindset.
Unable to differentiate between all these dilemmas as a teenager they begin to explore options. I have noticed kids that are growing up today mostly those currently in high school are struggling with sexual confusion and/or curiosity. Bi-sexuality seems to be the new popular thing; like leg warmers or bobby socks or eighties hair. It's become something in this era that makes straight kids question if they are missing something, because they want to be accepted by their peers. It has become the "in-crowd" factor because it develops a bond that they feel parents or those that are older than they are cannot enter into. It makes them different and yet what they don't realize is it makes them the same. Lost in a world that has left them searching for something they will never find in another person. I Corinthians 14:33 "For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints."
You see, God did not intend for another person to fulfill us. That place is reserved specifically for Him and as long as we have the mindset that another human being will make us whole we will never be truly happy. Whether most people speak it out loud or try to lie to themselves, there is a void that can only be filled by the spirit and power of Christ and if we don't seek Him out in that intimacy we will continue to search for a love that we can never find on Earth. We will continue to seek for an acceptance that will always let us down, and for an emotional connection that has the ability to be destroyed by one single disappointment.
However, with God He has relentless love for us in a way that He will accept you completely; regardless of your shortcomings; insecurities; fears; hurts and idiosyncrasies. The difference with Him is that not only will He fully accept you, but He will fully change your life so that you no longer have to live with those things that hold you back from becoming fully satisfied. In doing so He prepares you for the person He is preparing for you and He will guide you to that person in His time.
There are many types of relationships that people will form in their lives, some will last a lifetime and others will fade away. However when it comes to choosing a mate for a young person the unnatural societal method and the peer pressure to be bisexual to be part of the in crowd at school has made being a teenager in today's world that much harder to develop healthy relationships.
Many people who support bi curious teens or say it's a "natural phase" or that homosexual thoughts are normal at that age have no idea what they are talking about. They themselves just don't know how to deal correctly with the situation or how to talk to their children about it because they themselves don't understand how to communicate to them the fundamentals of a healthy relationship. They think that Christians are being judgmental when they speak openly about the subject. In all actuality it is quite the opposite. You see as people of faith; it's a requirement from God to speak the truth of His word using it to reprove, and rebuke with patience in the spirit of love. (Titus 2:15) There are some crazy juice drinkers out there that like to hold signs and paint a horrible picture of the true spirit of Christ by saying "God hates fags". I believe those people are not going to be so happy the day they come face to face with Christ in regards to Luke 17:2 "It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones."
However, those who knowingly live in a sinful way are not going to be so happy either. In Jude 1:7 the Bible states "Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire."
As a Christian homosexuality and bisexuality have become like chicken. Not everyone likes to eat chicken from the same place and each person has their own taste when it comes to what kind of chicken they want to order. If I go to dinner with you I am not going to force you to order grilled chicken like me. I would also get highly irritated if you ordered fried chicken for me, because I don't like fried chicken at all. I'm also not going to judge you based on what kind of chicken you choose to eat. However if you order fried chicken and tried to convince me it was grilled chicken not only can I see that it's a lie but my taste buds will also verify the truth.
God is the same way when it comes to sexual immorality. God loves the thought of sexual gratification between a man and a woman in Holy matrimony. If that makes you uncomfortable well, you need to read Song of Solomon. However, He does not like homosexuality, bi-sexuality or fornication in any form at all. And you can't profess to live for Christ and say He approves, because He doesn't at all. Though God will not force His ways on anyone, and Christians won't judge you by what your choices are; neither should you try to force us to believe a lie that is clearly stated otherwise in scripture. His word says anyone taking part in any of them will not inherit His Kingdom. As a matter of fact He destroyed a whole city that had perverted what He meant to be pure and fascinating between a married man and a woman. Does that mean God hates people who choose to participate in these types of relationships? Absolutely not, and those who truly try to live for God in light of His love don't either. You see I John 4:20 states "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?" God gives everyone a chance to repent and turn from sin and begin to live the life He intended them to.
Many people may take offense to this and some may question my motives behind writing such a statement like this, but please know my intentions are pure. You see my heart gets heavy at times knowing there are people who are under the assumption that life is what it is and when it's over you're dead in the ground and gone. When people I love with all my heart are grabbing hold of false promises by people who don't really love them; and male friends are philandering here and there with modern day harlots; and teenagers are lost in a sea of faces searching for acceptance and companionship in a world void of foundational relationship profitability that honors God my heart begins to break. I weep for them in a place of brokenness because I too used to be alone; and insecure and hurting and searching for that intimacy. I too wanted to be fully accepted by someone and feel like I was whole.
It wasn't until I realized that only in Christ could I be truly satisfied that He began to make my path straight and began to direct my path to my husband today. With God forming the connection of two people joined together through Him it's ordained. Ecclesiastes 4:12 states, "And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken." If your relationship is built in Christ any adversity that you face together will not easily break you because He helps you understand and respect each other. He gives you the tools to communicate and love each other the way two people are meant to be.
My heart goes out to the young people growing up today and to those who are searching for that person that accepts you for all that you are and all that you have to give. The first step that you can take in truly finding that person is to first find yourself in Christ. When you do this one thing He promises when you first seek His Kingdom He will give you the desires of your heart, because when you first seek Him, you follow Him to your purpose. 2 Peter 3:9 says "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you,[a] not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." He is waiting to accept you for all that you are right now; let Him show you how beautiful an intimate relationship is truly meant to be.
Ephesians 2:1-5 "And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christby grace you have been saved"
My name is Tina Leonard. I have been writing my entire life, but it wasn't until I accepted Christ in 1998 that I began to write for the edification of the body and to bring the rightful Glory to His Kingdom. Feel free to visit my website at www.myspace.com/christisking2.
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