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God's Grace & Anxiety
by Renee Root
3/28/2015 / Testimonies
I have anxiety and it is a disorder. My anxiety causes me to worry about things most people would never think about and so most people do not understand this problem. The best way I may describe it is that my brain works overtime. So, because I have faith in the Lord and the Lord is who I trust to help me with my anxiety and I have allergic reactions to most drugs-I must learn to live with my disorder. The wonderful news is that I have a God that is bigger than my anxiety and so when I start to have an anxiety or panic attack-I will start praying or praising the Lord.
I believe God understands and accepts me for where I am with the Lord right now because God could take my anxiety away by healing me-but for whatever reason God has chosen not to do this. Perhaps, it is because I am dependent on him because when I do things these things are done because the Lord gives me strength because I cannot do it own my own. I must learn to accept myself as I was made by the Lord and accept the fact that I may see things differently than other people and that is fine because that is who I am in the Lord.
I have no idea what has triggered my anxiety at this point-but I know God gives me grace and so I need to learn to accept things as they are and not be upset. I signed up to go to a women's conference at a nearby town and I was really excited to be able to attend. I went the first evening and as soon as I got there the panic started to happen. I think it was because there were so many people and so much activity. I was not able to stand when they were singing because if I had the panic would have been worse because people were standing too close together. My anxiety requires me to have my own space. So, I came home and decided I had to be a good friend to the people that were going to the conference and stay home from the conference the next day. So, I did.
I believe the greatest gift I can give to others is not to be a problem to them and ruin their good time at a conference or a life group. I am the only one who really knows how bad my anxiety is and based on that I have to make a decision if I should do an activity. I trust the Lord to help me with my anxiety and in the Lord's timing I know I will be able to grow in the Lord.
I have heard it said before (not sure where) that until you have walked in a person's shoes exactly-there is no way of knowing what they are dealing with. I believe this is true and so I try to give people the benefit of the doubt when they say something that is not helpful because perhaps they have something going on in their life that I do not know about. So, please, be patient with me because I trust the Lord to help me with my anxiety. I may never be able to go to a conference or for that matter do anything that people consider great for the Lord-but the things I am able to do to help others and that provide God with glory and praise-I will do the most excellent job I am able to do.
I am now a faithful Christian serving the Lord at Thursday Church in Vincennes, Indiana.
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