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Contact Greg Miller


Berries Hold Election at International Berry Convention

by Greg Miller  
1/25/2016 / Humor



By Greg Miller 2016

All the world's berry communities sent representatives to their international berry convention.

Each year, the berries voted to elect their global representative for the next 12 months. According to the organization's bylaws, the winning berry could only hold two consecutive two-year terms.

Raspberry was concluding her second consecutive two-year term as representative. In her final State of the Berry Address, Raspberry thanked the other berries for the confidence they had placed in her for four years. "Thanks for the honor of serving as your representative. To my successor, I want to say, 'I hope you enjoy your service as much as I have enjoyed mine.'"

The berry community had only one political party, of which every infant berry automatically became a member. Upon joining, the baby berry was required to pledge an oath of allegiance to the berry community.

Blackberry, Strawberry and Blueberry were the candidates competing to succeed Raspberry as the new global representative. Each promoted his or her qualifications for serving as Berry-in-Chief.

Blueberry was convinced he was the best blueberry to be born since the birth of the first blueberry. "There is no doubt in my mind I am the most qualified berry to be Berry-in-Chief," he told supporters at a campaign rally. "No berry can unite all the berries like I can unite them."

Strawberry wanted to succeed Raspberry as representative because she wanted to be the second female berry to hold the title. "Raspberry has done a pretty good job, but much work still needs to be done," she told a local newspaper reporter. "I believe I'm the berry who can make that happen."

Blackberry was confident in his abilities, but he realized he could do nothing without the help of his creator. In his final speech prior to the election, he told a group of his followers, "If I'm elected, I promise to honor the Sovereign Lord. Then, God will give me the wisdom I need to make the decisions that will be the best for us berries."

Blackberry won the election by just two votes. At the last minute, Strawberry and Blueberry decided to vote for Blackberry.

"I owe you an apology," Strawberry told Blackberry. "I was running for selfish reasons."

"Me, too," Blueberry admitted. "Then God showed me He had chosen you to return our berry community to a position of one that honors and glorifies Him! We are meant to serve Him and not ourselves!"

Blackberry's acceptance speech was short and sweet. "Amen, Blueberry!" Blackberry said. "Amen!"

To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements, including Christian Comedy Fundraising Outreaches, Christian Creativity Seminars and/or puppet ministry, please email [email protected] or [email protected]

By Greg Miller 2018

Greg is retired from the Elizabethton STAR Newspaper, after working there for almost 23 years. He now freelances for the paper. Contact email address is [email protected], also facebook.com/kidcool4jesus. Available for speaking engagements & other ministries. Jesus is Lord!

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