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Grief

by veronica cressey  
8/04/2019 / Death


So, a knock came on my door, I was hesitant to open it,  but something told me I had no choice.  So, I  opened the door and there he stood. He removed his hat, slightly bowed in front of me and proceeded to let himself in. 

I allowed him to cross my threshold and so the dance began...

 

He held me tightly, as we crossed the floor, so intense,  I  could hardly breathe! Music played,  sometimes a waltz,  other times rock and roll  or Pop. Then classical tunes,  which reduced me to tears! Unashamedly,  I cried, I  wept, I  tried to untangle his grip,  but he would not let me go!  On and on went the dance. Occasionally  the dance stopped when I  would receive other visitors,  family and friends.  But there he stood, like an elephant in the room and I hated him with a vengeance!

Within me, he recognized my frailty, insecurity and all it encompassed.  He was like an Avenging Angel.  Pretending to heal me, whilst doing his best to destroy me. 

 

One bright, sunny morning I was woken by birdsong! There was no sign of him! I had prayed and prayed for him to disappear and I believed my prayers had been heard. And  now they had been answered.  Praise God!

I distracted myself by working in the garden.  The roses especially needed pruning,  cutting away deadwood was a salve to my soul. I was free of him, now I danced to my own drum! He was gone! 

I now saw a new world opening up, peace showered me with it's golden orbs. Not knowing which road to take,  ( I  waited, not sure what I was waiting for, yet,I waited).

This was when he returned! Out of nowhere,  he, grief raised his head and brought me misery. 

He reminded me of my loneliness, abandonment,  heartache.  In fact, he sang a song so sad, I was almost swept up By his emotion.  

What happened next astounded me. 

Somewhere inside of me, something  roared! So loud, it frightened me.  It must have frightened grief too because I saw him weep. Tears rolled down his face, dripping onto his shirt.  I was astounded! 

My mind said: how can Grief cry? 

My heart said: because he feels the depth of your love and he is showing you the reflection of your Soul. 

 

 

 

Veronica Cressey. I live in Perth, Western Australia. I an an Irish Citizen,born in Cork, Southern Ireland. I have been married for 38 years. We have been blessed with 2 daughters and a son, we also have 3 grandsons.

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