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Who's The Boss In Your Family?
by Annagail Lynes
10/06/2007 / Christian Living
Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her headit is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head. (I Corinthians 11:3-10 NIV).
What do you think about I Corinthians 11:3-10?
This passage is dealing with the chain of command in the spiritual family.
Christ is the head of the church, the body of believers, whereas man is the head of the family.
Why is that? For the answer, we must travel back many centuries to the beginning of time in the Garden of Eden.
The garden was beautiful. It had many trees that its inhabitants Adam and Eve could eat of except the one that God specifically told them not to.
As you probably know, Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden tree, bringing sin into this world. It is then that God made man the head over woman, but we will get to that.
Let's go back even further after God created Adam. God realized that man was lonely and not even the animals could fill the void. God put man to sleep and took out his rib and created woman. Therefore, the first woman came out of man.
Adam, or man, was to be the provider for the family unit. His focus was to put food on the table, to provide for the needs of his family.
Eve, or woman, was to keep the home, to tend to everything that pertains to the upkeep of the home--the cooking, the cleaning, the tending to the children. She was the nurturer, the teacher of her home. She was the one who influences her home. The one who determines the atmosphere of her home.
Man is the head of the family, but two things are happening in this society. One, men are not taking their rightful place as head of the household, letting the woman in their lives take the lead. Two, men take the position as head of the household as a license to control and manipulate their wives into being their slaves. Either of these problems in a home will throw off the balance of that household.
The Bible tells men to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Christ wouldn't manipulate or try to control the church. No, Christ loved her so much that He laid down His life for her. He died so that she might live. How many men in this society are really willing to do that for their spouse? Christ also wants what is best for her, yet He will never force His Will on her. He gives her free will and lets her choose. He will warn her if she gets off-course, but ultimately the choice is hers. And she will suffer the natural consequences that result because of that choice.
A man who is head of the household needs to be submitted to God. He needs to give his life to God completely. He needs to be well-versed in the Word of God and have godly wisdom to deal with situations that come up in life.
But many men see the head of the household position as an opportunity to verbal and physical abuse their wives to show their strength and power over her. They do this to control and manipulate them into doing things his way instead of God's way. They believe the woman won't divorce them because the Bible says God hates divorce.
However if you read that Scripture in its entirety, you will discover that God not only hates divorce but a man who covers his wife with violence. And it's not two separate sentences. It is separated by the word "and", which connects the two sentences.
Being the head of the household is not a license to be abusive. No, it is a responsibility God has given him to be steward over the family. It is his responsibility to keep his wife and kids safe, to provide for them, to love them and to help them, be the person God created them to be. That is the role of the head of the household. When a man relinquishes his role as the head of the household to his wife or kids, the entire family unit will fail to be what God created it to be.
Although a woman comes under the man in the chain of command of the spiritual family, she is only to submit to her own husband not everyone else's.
She is not a doormat to be walked on. She is not to be abused. She is not to be controlled. She is supposed to submit to her husband's authority, just as she would that of a police officer or teacher or the people ranked above her in the military.
When one is in the military, one must submit to the person ranked above them. That's the way a wife should think of her husband--as a rank above. No better, no smarter, just ranked above her.
Unlike the military, though, when a wife takes an order from her husband and the order turns sour, instead of everyone involved, it is only the husband would takes the fall. He is the one who gets in trouble.
People want to believe that women are second-class citizens, that God only has a plan for men's lives and that women's only roles are to support their husbands and have children. This is absolutely not true.
God has a plan for all of our lives, not just men. I've heard the story of a preacher who wanted his wife to help him with his ministry and didn't want to let her fulfill her own destiny. Soon, though, God told the preacher that just because his wife was married to him didn't mean that the husband owned her and could control her. God advised him that He had a work for the man's wife to do.
God doesn't see women as second-class citizens. Nothing is wrong with raising children and supporting their husbands, but many women were called for more that that. To God we are all people, His children, on assignment here on Earth. Our goal is to complete our destinies while following the spiritual chain of command.
God love us and He wants what is best for us. So first, we must submit to God, and if we are married women, we are to submit to our husbands. When we follow the chain of command, God will honor us and help us fulfill our destinies.
Annagail Lynes is a pharmacy technician, certified life coach and ordained minister. She is helping people move forward after trauma by helping them discover their purpose. Follow her blog at 316counseling.com
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