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A Life thru the Bian Dong (Chinese Bento Boxes)

by Annie Glasel  
10/03/2020 / Death

My father went home to be with Jesus this morning.  Afterwards for lunch, my mother and I shared a simple bian-dong (aka Chinese Bento) purchased from a local eatery.  And for dinner, we purchased a few more to share with my sister and her kids.  The bian-dong is the more authentic version of the Chinese lunch specials - rice/noodle with 3 or 4 side dishes.

As I looked at the bian-dong, I thought about how my father used to buy these for us.  I remembered he used to buy cheap ones so that there would be enough food to feed the four of us.  But because my dad would always say that this was the best of something, we never thought about the money or the quality.  We just felt special that Dad treated us to lunch.

Then as my sister and I started to earn a good living, we would buy mid-quality bian-dong (as in we didn't want to be reprimanded by our parents for squandering money on them) when we came home for dinner.  We bought more as my sister and I got married and brought our kids home to visit the grans.  (We didn't want our mother to cook because she didn't know how to make kid-friendly meals for Ameriasian grandchildren).

In these past few years, my parents would buy one expensive well valued bian-dong and share it; because all of our finances had improved and they had aged with a decreased appetite.  Then they would share one bian-dong over several meals because my dad, fighting cancer, had slowly lost his taste, his appetite and his tolerance for food.

It was no longer about getting what he loved but what he could eat without suffering uncomfortable consequences.  Soon, it was just down to pure white porridge of rice or broth that came as a free item when you bought a bian-dong.

Until even that wasn't necessary anymore.

Today this simple bian-dong means so much more to me than just 3 side dishes over rice and a soup.  It is a reminder of how life is not about the great big moments of life and death; it is about the insignificant details repeated with love throughout a lifetime.

I've written to ease my pain; I've written to hear my voice; I've written for vanity; I've written for sanity; I've written for fun; I've written for laughs; I've written for me; I've written for money. But until I write for God, this talent is for naught.

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