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Introduction to Psychology and the Necessary Terminology (Chapter Two)

by Tonja Taylor
4/20/2024 / Humor

All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. - Proverbs 15:15, KJV

After Mom passed to Heaven weeks ago, I found this in her keepsakes. I'd written it about 25 years earlier, when I was in college.

I don't remember the name of the textbook, nor the authors, and that's probably a good thing. Anyway, while seeking relief from stress, I took many real psychology terms, and created my own meanings--much to the chagrin of the PhD teaching the class, but to the great joy of myself and several classmates!

Since then, I've learned much more about yielding to joy, and cultivating it in my life. When I wrote these meanings in a spoof for comic relief, I greatly needed relief! I was a Believer in Christ, but under a lot of pressure and oppression.

The LORD has a wonderful way of helping us, in every situation. He cares about every detail!

I believe He gave me these to help me laugh. When we laugh, we are casting our cares on the LORD. We can experience healing and freedom, for as true Believers, we are seated with Him in Heaven.

He who sits in the heavens laughs; the Lord holds them in derision. -- Psalm 2:4, ESV

Hallelujah!

So, as you read these, may you (especially if you like psychology and such) laugh, giggle, chuckle, guffaw, or whatever helps you be happy--and realize that we often have taken ourselves too seriously (like "Dr. Bright", the professor who disdained my light-hearted literary efforts), and truly need to take Daddy God more seriously; He says to not worry ("No worries" came from the Bible, by the way! Jesus said it first!).

Again, this was over 25 years ago, so my apologies ahead of time if any of these offend you, for some reason (like they did "Dr. Bright"). You can look these up; they are all real terms in medicine and/or psychology. Also, I think you'll enjoy my easier-to-read, slightly revised, more pleasant definitions! :)

Ok, here we go!

1. Isle of Langerhans--main island in the Pacific Ocean; also see Isle of Shorterhans.

2. Polarized state--nickname for Alask and other COLD places, i.e., Siberia, Greenland, my house, etc.

3. Nodes of Ranvier--petrified balls of cerebral mucus from the remains of the great French explorer. Also, choral spoof of the parody, "My Nose,Uh, Ran Away".

4. Synaptic vesicles--something the Pope wears. Or at least it sounds like it. Also, getting closer to the real meaning of these things, I was inspired for the name of an erudite rock group, "Corpus Callosum and the Synaptic Vesicles". (See #13)

5. Neurons--The humanity of society; composed of electrically-charged Alphas, reflective Betas, and hard-working Peons.

6. Afferent neurons--(as opposed to efferent neurons) the affluent neurons in society.

7. Efferent neurons--Working class neurons (see Peons).

8. Association neurons--Fraternity pledges during Rush Week at any public college in the USA.

9. Sympathetic division--The innate tendency of mothers to give each of her children exactly the same amount of everything in life; e.g., ice cream, Christmas gifts, etc.

10. Ganglia--female gang members; to be avoided as much as possible.

11. Medulla oblangata--surely the foreign name of a leader of a ganglia; also to be avoided as much as possible.

12. Pons--the little brother of the Fonz (See "Happy Days", for those of you born after 1990).

13. Corpus Callosum--small coliseum in Corpus Christi, Texas.

14. Aphasia--what the sun does to ya when ya stare directly into it (except in the case of a full eclipse, but only if you have the proper glasses, and use them at the exact 2.37 seconds or so when it's truly safe to stare at the star that is over 93 million miles away, and over 5000 degrees hot!)

15. Somatosensory area--the area at the back of one's neck, where the hairs stand erect when they sense a large mass of Sumo wrestler approaching.

16. Occipotal lobes--earlobes of certain people groups, who hange rocks, wheel rims, and other massive objects on their lobes to stretch them, so that they graze their shoulders in that adorable neanderthal fashion.

17. Association area--wherever people gather, i.e., around food and beverages such as water and beer.

18. Recticular formation--something the Marines learn to do, for which all the other branches of armed forces don't have the FIness to execute.

19. Glucagon--AT LAST!--something that removes Superglue without removing epidermis on a human.

20. Gonads--one of those wandering, albeit exceptionaly erect, tribes of the earth of 100 million bilion trillion years ago (more or less), whose bones were ingested by dinosaurs, and will thus never know the joy of having a prominent representative such as Lucy. Pity...

21. Thyroxin--thigh cream that REALLY WORKS to rid female thighs of anything unwanted (e.g., cellulite, inches, hair, moles, spiders, and spider veins--OR YOUR MONEY BACK!).

22. Parathyroid--two for the price of one. Call 1800THIGONE.

23. Gene--What I call my father-in-law.

24. Dominant Gene--What my mother-in-law calls my father-in-law.

25. Chromosome--one of those wealthy but intensely-fascinated auto enthusiasts who chrome every removable piece on a vehicle (boat, car, truck, motorcycle, plane, train, four-wheeler, etc.), except, by law, the windshield.

Enough already! :)

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;--Ecc. 3:4, KJV

Tonja and her husband live to exalt God. They lift Him up in books (P.O.W.E.R. Girl!; LEGACY; Visions of the King; Your Holy Health; more); presentations; service in church, community, and the world; and via the "River Rain Creative" (309 videos) and "POWERLight Learning" You Tube channels.

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