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Getting a Mind Awake to Sleep

by TJ Nickel  
1/09/2008 / Poetry

If not my past
Than what am I
Am I not my sins?
If not my past
Can't be my future
Funny how time bends
Backwards, repentance
Can wash away
My every sin from sight
Forwards, prayer
Can take away
From Possibility's might

Past am not
Nor future either
Lord, just what am I?
Present has no
Action in it
Disappeared have I!
Matter not
But matters much
Enlightened as a Berkeley
Matter gone
But I am not
Present cuts time sharply

A soul am I
If body not
Real, but a projection
Like time's
Past and future
Am I split into two sections?
Soul, idea
To become becomes matter
If matter not
And soul idea
Something makes them chatter

Spirit, alas
The hidden, hidden
Idea to matter relater
Just as Present
Is in time
The true me; a creator
Of ideas
And their matter
The past and also future
Soul and Body
Woven into self
With Spirit as their suture

Whether "to be
Or not to be"
'Tis becoming that's essential
Myself and me
The I to be
Is something existential
I as man
Made in His image
Triune three in, and yet, one
Father, Son
And Holy Ghost
Holy Trinity, God, likewise spun

Soul and Body
Matters matter
Behold Idea as Become
Holy Ghost
As Spirit binds
The two, now three, in One
Where we see
Soul manifested
There we call Him Son
Idea is Father
But so, He is two not one

Thus the Ghost
To bind them so
More invisible than the wind
Here God's self
Proclaimed I AM
The Beginning and The End

He is Spirit
As am I
Yet He is Someone more
Me as Spirit
His triune Idea
From Love's unceasing pour
In His image
This dear self
Of I, to be or not
His Idea
Grounded such
God, forget me not!

Have found myself
By finding Thee
In matters existential
Idea of Thine
My Spirit thus
Is bound, and Providential
My Spirit's Master
A title I
Am undeserving of
Spent from travels
In these thoughts
Let me rest now in Thy Love

Sleep, I beg thee
Take me hold
Don't let me be unfurled
With further thoughts
Of Ideas to Matter
And the creation of the world
Matter matters
'Tis from Soul
The world created thus
Of dust made
Man from world
In it, and It, Jesus

Us in Him
He in the Father
He spoke this in a verse
Maybe something worse
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Thy Personage is too deep
Thank Thee
For this revelation
As I lay me down to sleep.


TJ Nickel is a Christian husband, father, student, and freelance writer striving to dive deep into the human condition and point to Christ. You can visit TJ's website at:

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