Life books for the Adopted Child When You Have Little Information
by Lisa Copen 1/14/2008 / Parenting
Making a life book may seem a bit daunting. As you collect the information you have about your child's life before he or she came to live with you, it may seem discouraging that so little information exists
Each family that adopts has a different kind of relationship with their birth mother. It can very from one end of the spectrum to the other. For example, I've met families who actually have the birth mother baby sit the child on occasion. Other families meet the birth mom once or twice a year for a visit at a park. Sadly, some families know nothing about their child's birth mom than perhaps her name and city in which she gave birth.
Oftentimes a family may have more than one adopted child the birth moms of the different children have different relationships with the family-if any. So the involved birth mom may even send notes or small gifts to the sibling of the child, so everyone feels included and loved.
If you have a good relationship with a birth mom you may be able to get any information you wish for your child's adoption album. She may even be eager to assist to help dig up information or answer questions to help your child have an amazing book.
If you are an adoptive mom without a lot of information about your child's birth or birth family-if any at all-don't fret. You will still design an fantastic life book that helps your child understand his or her history.
For example, one of the most essential pages of the life book is about the biological mother, but you may not even have a photograph of her. Be sure to include a quotation or poem about how birth moms may feel when making the adoption choice for their child. Then write something for the book like, "Did you know that birth moms and dads give their special DNA to their children. I'll be your beautiful smile and dark eye lashes came from your mom!"
It's hard for most people to imagine, but many adoptive parents don't even know the birthdate of their child or where he or she was born. Rather than writing, "We don't know the date of your birth" in your child' adoption album, journal something along the lines of, "We believe you were born during the winter of 2005 some time because when you came to the orphanage you weighed about the same as the other children born about that time."
Understand that it's the amount of love and effort that you put into the life book that will most impress your child. As he grows older and starts to ask more questions, plan to do some of the research together to help answer the questions that arise. Until then, get started and don't let a lack of information thwart you from crafting a loving adoption scrapbook album for your child. Kids love reading stories about themselves and they have the best imagination, having fun make up their own stories to fill in any blanks.
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