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Restless, Colorless

by Sara Harricharan  
1/15/2008 / Short Stories

I wish they'd leave me alone.

I like my misery.

Feeling miserable is just another note I can congratulate myself on in this horrible life symphony.

Perfect? No. Imperfect. No.

What am I? I don't know.

Sometimes I wish running away from everything would solve all my problems.

Most of the time I wish there was some way I knew how to keep from hurting myself over and over.

It's not what people say. It's not what they do.

It's why I listen and why I believe them.

Independance is underrated.

What is an individual?

I used to think I was one of them. Then I realized that people like them are more vibrant.

Colors and feelings just radiate from them. Yellows and golds for happiness and succes. Reds and pinks for passion and empathy.

I feel like a painted plant.

In the rainforest.

The rain is washing over me with a rate I don't want to understand. Solitary streams cause acrylic colors to smear and trickle away.

Color me black.

As I deal with my sister's suicide. No one knew what she was going through. I wrapped myself in my own private pain. I forgot she needed me. How dark is that?

Color me white.

You think I'm so innocent. You don't see the little white lies that are holding me together. What is white?

Color me blue.

I'm so depressed. My world is calm, but my life is in turmoil. Why is everything so disorganized?

Color me green.

Green means life. A new start. A new dance. Why can't I take part?

Color me orange.

Vibrance. Essence. The test of spontaneous individuality.

Color me transparent.

I'm colorless. So that every once in the while, all the colors can color me.

Sara Harricharan is a young Christian woman with a passion for writing for the Lord through faith-filled Science Fiction/Fantasy stories and pure words.

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